Labiaplasty

Is That Your Belt? Season 1, Ep 11 06/07/2016 Views: 3,248

Nikki shares her own feelings about having large labia and interviews a doctor about why so many women are getting genital cosmetic surgery. (5:04)

[ Cheers and applause ]

Hi, guys.

So, a lot of loserson YouTube

complain that all female comicstalk about are their vaginas.

So that's whatI'm gonna do tonight.

[ Laughter ]I have to.

Seriously, guys,to put a long vulva short,

I have labiathat just don't quit, all right?

I know.

I thought all vaginaslooked like mine

until I was 20 years old,

and I heard Dane Cooktell this joke.

One thing, a turn-off --

I don't like a girlwith a lot of lips.

I don't like that.

Yeah. I don't like it when itlooks like a box of cow tongues.

I don't like itwhen it looks like

a high-school-play curtain,right?

[ Laughter ]

Yeah, it's funny.

That's what pissed me off,

because that is my vagina.

There's actuallya production of "Brigadoon"

happening down thereright now.

[ Laughter ]

Look.Those whacky...characters.

[ Laughs ]

But after hearing that joke --I'm serious --

I did some research on vaginas,and --

Okay,I watched some porn.

And I was shocked

because every porn vagina I sawwas so perfect --

just trim and tiny.

Their pussieswere like Ariana Grande

while mineis like nachos grande.

You feel bad about yourselfwhen you eat it.

I jack up the price to $11at ballparks.

A lot of similarities.

[ Laughter ]

But I wantedwhat these porn stars had.

So I consideredthe ultimate solution.

[ Dramatic music plays ]Genocide.

[ Laughter ]

Just kidding.

Labiaplasty.

Have you heard of it?

It is a surgery

where a doctor basicallyBenihanas your pussy

till it's small enoughto flip into your aunt's mouth.

[ Laughing ] I considered it.

I considered it,

but I couldn't do it aftergetting my butthole refinished.

[ Laughter ]It was very expensive.

So when I readin The New York Times

that labiaplasties are becomingincreasingly popular,

especially among teens,I was not surprised.

I had so many questionsabout labiaplasty,

so I sat downwith Dr. Jennifer Berman

to learn all aboutdesigner vaginers.

Dr. Berman, why would a womanget labiaplasty?

Labiaplasty means removalof excess skin in the labia.Okay.

And if there isa redundancy,

meaning length --increased length --

Redundancy -- I like that,where you're just like,

"Okay, I get it, vagina."

On and on and on and on.

And if it interfereswith sexual relations

or it's irritatingwhen they exercise,

you know,those would be --Right.

Have you noticed a trend in morewomen getting labiaplasties?

I've noticed a trendin more people talking about it,

extremely self-consciousabout their genital areas.

I'm one of those women

who have definitely startedtalking about it more

because I would look at porn,

which, of course,they're all, like,

these tiny, little God'slittle whisper of a vagina,

and I would see that,and I'd say,

"Oh, I guess that'swhat everyone wants."

You hear guys --"Oh, roast beef sandwich.

You look like --"You just go,

"[ Laughs ]That must be gross."

And then you're like,"I'm disgusting."

What's drivingwomen's insecurity

is that we thinkmen think it's beautiful.

Like, I feel like this,

it's like, they stick out,like, that much.

Well, that's --I could pull them outlike to here probably.

That's normal.

That is?Yeah.

It's like a little, like --

You know like a little dog'ssoft little tongue peeking out?

It's almost like --All right, I get it.

All right, so,there's a little bit

of what we call "labial show,"

whichis what you're describing.Ooh! I --

That's gonna bemy Broadway play.

Labial Show.

You did it.You named it for me.

So, there's sexual sensationsthat are in that area.

It also adds a little bitof length to the vagina,

so it kind of grabsalong the outside,

so there's a functional purposeto the labia.

"Don't let go, dick."[ Laughs ]

It's almost like they're --a cliffhanger.Yeah.

So, what aresome of the drawbacks

of getting labiaplasty?

I've seen some majorly botchedlabiaplasties.

Really?Yes.

Changing it, mutilating it,even, to some degree.

So you shouldn't just get itwilly-nilly.

You certainly shouldn't do itjust for cosmetic reasons.

I'm leavingthis conversation feeling, like,

I love it, and I justwant to spread the love.

Can I get a hug?

[ Laughs ]Come here.

I'm so gladyou're so comfortable.

I love you.Thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

So, look.

If you're labes are causing youactual physical pain,

do what you need to do,absolutely.

But if they're not,let sleeping lips lie.

Unless you're posing for

some vagina of the monthcalendar, I guess,

which even then, like, wouldn'tyou want yours to stand out?

Like, let's make thisa September to remember.

[ Laughter ]

And why risklosing sexual sensation

just to look "acceptable"for a

guy whose dickcan barely tell the difference

beautiful a pussy anda thermos of warm SpaghettiOs?

[ Laughter ]

And if someone is shitty enoughto make fun of your labia,

surgery is not gonna help

because the problemis not with your pussy.

It's with the pussy you'reletting inside your pussy,

so try cutting that off first.

In the meantime,

let's all embrace who we are,all right?

I have big naturals,and I'm proud.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Thanks, guys.We'll be right back.

Anyone else?

Anyone else got big --

You do? Oh, yeah.