The Colbert Report

Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Ace the SATs

Season 6 • 05/12/2010

Claim racial bias to improve your verbal score, and become learning disabled to avoid the time crunch.

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00:04

Sign Off - WristStrong Arm
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen waves goodnight with his numb, cadmium-tainted WristStrong arm.
05/11/2010
02:49

Consumer Alert - Best Friends Charm Bracelets
The Colbert ReportS6

Lacing children's jewelry with heavy metal is a great way to teach our kids about the periodic table.
05/11/2010
00:35

Intro - 5/11/10
The Colbert ReportS6

Conservatives try to derail Elena Kagan's nomination, Australia gets a new import, and Hampton Sides knows a lot about Dr. King's death.
05/11/2010
05:14

Hampton Sides
The Colbert ReportS6

Hampton Sides talks about what motivated James Earl Ray to assassinate Martin Luther King Jr.
05/11/2010
08:32

Kagan Worship - Dahlia Lithwick
The Colbert ReportS6

Dahlia Lithwick is willing to bet that Elena Kagan's confirmation hearings are going to focus on her lack of judicial experience.
05/11/2010
05:16

ThreatDown - Military Food Police, Jazz Robots & Pretty Girls
The Colbert ReportS6

Childhood obesity threatens America's security, a jazz robot improvises with human players, and attractive women give men heart disease.
05/12/2010
01:54

Controlled Burn of a Natural Gas
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen demonstrates how easy it is to do a controlled burn of a natural gas release.
05/12/2010
00:39

Intro - 5/12/10
The Colbert ReportS6

The military needs to invade fun places like Farmville, and Deepak Chopra talks about embracing your dark side.
05/12/2010
06:52

Deepak Chopra
The Colbert ReportS6

According to Deepak Chopra, Stephen's dark side is arrogance, but his gift is bringing comic relief to America.
05/12/2010
00:04

Sign Off - Fire Extinguisher Shooting
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen and pretty girl Jade play target practice with a fire extinguisher.
05/12/2010
05:07

Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Ace the SATs
The Colbert ReportS6

An MIT study finds that longer essays get better scores, so ideally your writing section should read like Glenn Beck's teleprompter.
05/12/2010
00:36

Intro - 5/13/10
The Colbert ReportS6

Glenn Beck sheds his snake skin, and Stephen reminds the Hold Steady that Heaven is whenever Jesus can fit them in.
05/13/2010
00:12

Sign Off - Time-Traveling Brandy Thief
The Colbert ReportS6

The time-traveling brandy thief was a worthy adversary, and he will be missed.
05/13/2010
03:33

The Hold Steady
The Colbert ReportS6

Craig Finn and Tad Kubler talk about Heaven, Mother Teresa and their rock prophets.
05/13/2010
04:22

Confirming Elena
The Colbert ReportS6

The New York Post isn't saying Elena Kagan is a lesbian, it's just asking the question next to a photo of her playing softball.
05/13/2010
06:59

Failure to Launch - Atlantis Crew
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen asks the Atlantis crew for advice on how he can prepare himself for space.
06/01/2010
06:05

Ayaan Hirsi Ali
The Colbert ReportS6

Ayaan Hirsi Ali wants us to shed the inhibition of judging and say that one religion is better than the other.
06/01/2010
00:09

Sign Off - Water Eyeballing
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen says goodnight and pours water into his eyeball.
06/01/2010
03:25

Up Brit Creek
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen finds the villain in the hit summer series, "Grainy Footage of Leaking Underwater Oil Pipe."
06/01/2010
02:27

Vodka Eyeballing
The Colbert ReportS6

If you think metaphorical beer goggles are bad, imagine what literal vodka goggles will make you do.
06/01/2010
00:39

Intro - 6/1/10
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen finds out who's to blame for the BP oil spill and refuses to get up close and personal with Ayaan Hirsi Ali.
06/01/2010
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