Roast Battle - Sam Morril vs. Steve Rannazzisi

Roast Battle - Night One - Uncensored Season 1, Ep 2 07/28/2016 Views: 9,588

Steve Rannazzisi struggles to recover when New York-based comic Sam Morril slams him with jokes about how he lied about escaping the World Trade Center attacks on 9/11. (4:44)

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- New York, liar, are we ready?

(cheers and applause

Let's roast!

(bell dings)

- Yes, I lied about being in the World Trade Center.

But, to my defense, I was a first responder

to Sam's girlfriend's Instagram abuse--

Ahhh, (bleep)

- [Jeff] Woah!

(sad horns)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Oh!

Oh, shit!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

(sad horns)

Hey, hey, hey.

On a scale of one to 10,

I'm going to give that a Ground Zero, Steve.

- Perfect!

(cheers and applause)

(gunshots)

- I like that one!

Aw, shit.

- First joke, first joke.

- Sam said...

Sam.

(chuckles)

- Get it out, buddy.

- [David] Get these jokes to a hundred word minimum.

- Sam, I can't believe you're here, man.

You lost to a mime onAmerica's Got Talent last week.

A (bleep) mime, dude.

Can you believe that?

Jesus Christ.

I mean, if you wanted to just have career suicide,

you could lied about being in 9/11 and kept your dignity.

(whistle)

- Steve has never performed in a roast before,

but he did lie about running away from a pretty huge one.

- Wait, what?

- Sam was born with a silver spoon in his mouth,

not because his adoptedparents are loaded,

but because that's how his birth mother

tried to scoop him out of her.

(audience groans)

- We're gaining traction.

- I needed one, that's all I needed.

- Okay, Steve's kids are six and four,

which means somedaythey'll be nine and 11,

and only claim to be there for them.

(ambulance siren)

- I think we met--

- That's three.(bell dings)

Keep it going.

Sam, Steve.

(cheers and applause)

- Whoo.

- All right.

- After seeing this, I wish I'd died on 9/11.

(laughing)

This was (bleep) depressing, you guys.

Holy mackerel.

- This is a--

This is a little bit of a mess, but

Steve, first of all, I appreciate the balls of coming out.

- Thank you.

- You know it's a tough job,

you know you're going to get hammered,

but you came out.

(applause)

The only thing I couldsay negative about Sam,

because you were great, is...

maybe more jokes that weren't about the 9/11 lie.

- [Sam] Can I respond to that? - [David] Sure.

- I think if you're roasting Sandusky,

you're not going to talkabout football, so...

(laughing)

- [David] Well, okay.

- Topical.

- That's true.

I thought, Steve, you started to climb back,

you got K.O.'d a little early with that 100-word joke.

But at least you came back and you got a few in,

and then, I don't know if it won it for you,

but it helped, and it kept you in the game,

and at least it made ita little bit of a fight.

Right, Kevin, what do you think?

- Nah, (bleep) that.

David's being nice.

- Yeah.

- That shit stunk, that shit was awful.

Here's why, okay?

Rule number one of roasting, you don't show weakness, okay?

Steve came out and stumbled on his first bit.

He showed fear, he showed weakness,

and what'd Sam do with that?

He smellt it, hit him with the Ground Zero boof.

But then after that, Samgot a little confident.

Sam got confident, got wordy.

His next one didn't hitthe way he wanted it to.

And then after that, Steve came back with one,

the scooping of the, come out the mouth shit--

- Yeah.

- You know, it got a little nasty for me,

I'm not going to lie,shit got a little nasty.

But I was like, alright, okay.

I see where you're going, he's coming back a little bit.

But then after that, I think Sam kept hitting me with jabs,

and the fact that Steve knew he was dealing with something

that was a problem, he's like,

"This is a real issue for me, I lied about this,

and it's starting to hurt."

I could see that he was like,

"(bleep) this, just let it go!"

and Sam kept on hammering it, 9/11,

you lied, you lied, you lied.

And Steve was like,"Just (bleep) move on!"

AND Sam was like, "Nope,ya kid gon' be liars.

9/11, 9/11, 9/11."

He wouldn't let it (bleep) go,

and for that, persistence will always win,

so Sam, I wanna give it to you, you stayed persistent.

(cheers and applause)

- Roasting a lot of times is about

sort of a new beginning,and sort of restarting

where you've been in life and where you're going,

we've seen that at the celebrity roasts.

I think Roast Battle, laughing at yourself

is so important, puttingit out there is so--

You're a great guy, Steve, for doing this,

you're a good sport, and--

(cheers and applause)

That having--

That having been said--

- [David] Hug itout, hug it out!

- That's all fine and well, but we have a winner.

- [Jeff] Sam Morril, Sam Morril, way to go.

- Sam Morril, everybody.

(cheers and applause)