Neal Brennan - Sleep Issues

Neal Brennan: Women and Black Dudes Season 1, Ep 101 01/18/2014 Views: 5,169

Neal Brennan explains the price that white people pay for loving the rules so much. (1:23)

Watch Full Episode

FOR LOVING THE RULESAS MUCH AS WE DO.

WE CAN'T SLEEP.

NEVER -- I'VE NEVER MET A BLACKINSOMNIAC IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

MEANWHILE, EVERY WHITE PERSONI KNOW HAS SLEEP ISSUES.

YOU KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE WE'RE UP TOSSINGAND TURNING EVERY NIGHT,

THINKING ABOUT WHO BROKETHE RULES THAT DAY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HE DOESN'T THINK I SAW HIM,BUT, OH, YEAH, I SAW YOU, CHET.

AND GUESS WHAT?

TOMORROW, I'M TELLING.

YOU KNOW WHEN I'M TELLING?

WHITE PEOPLE'SFAVORITE TIME OF DAY --

FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

CAN'T SLEEP, WHITE PEOPLE.

WE NEED BODY PILLOWSTO GET TO SLEEP,

NEED THE MATTRESS WITH THERED WINE BALANCED ON TOP OF IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HUMIDIFIER, DEHUMIDIFIER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AN IONISERFROM THE SHARPER IMAGE.

A WHITE-NOISE MACHINEFROM THE SkyMall,

SLEEP MASKS,BREATHE-EASY NOSE STRIPS,

AMBIEN, TYLENOL P.M.

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT TAKESMY BLACK FRIENDS TO FALL ASLEEP?

A BITE OF A SANDWICHAND A MOMENT OF SILENCE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

THEY'RE OUT.