Louis Ramey - Backup Boys

  • Season 5 , Ep 5
  • 07/29/2001
  • Views: 4,615

Groomsmen's tuxedos make you look like you're a backup singer for the groom. (2:25)

VERY GLAD TO BE HERE!

LAST WEEK I WAS IN MOBILE,

ALABAMA.

VERY GLAD TO BE HERE!

(LAUGHTER)

THERE ARE MUTANTS IN MOBILE.

THEY GOT SOCIAL MUTANTS.

THEY GOT

REDNECKS-WANNA-BE-YUPPIES

THAT COULDN'T QUITE MAKE THAT

CROSSOVER?

THEY'VE GOT BMW'S, AND PUT

MUD TIRES ON THEM, KNOW WHAT

I'M TALKING ABOUT?

PORCHES WITH RIFLE RACKS?

DEEP FRIED SUSHI...

(LAUGHTER)

JUST GLAD TO BE TALKING

TO A CROWD WITH TEETH TONIGHT--

THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.

YEAH.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

THE REASON I WAS THERE--

I WAS THE BEST MAN AT A FRIEND

OF MINE'S WEDDING.

THAT WAS PRETTY EXCITING.

OUT OF CURIOSITY HERE--

HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE BEEN

THE BRIDESMAID AT SOMEBODY'S

WEDDING--

CLAP... IF YOU'VE BEEN

A BRIDESMAID.

(WOMEN CLAPPING)

LET ME ASK YOU THIS.

WAS IT THE UGLIEST DRESS YOU

EVER WORE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE?

(WOMEN CHEER)

YEAH, AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE

HE GOT THESE TUXEDOS.

HE LOOKED LIKE JAMES BOND

I LOOKED LIKE JAMES BROWN.

(LAUGHTER)

LITTLE VELVET COLLAR--

LITTLE SATIN STRIPE GOING DOWN

THE LEG AND I WALK INTO CHURCH

LOOKING LIKE A BACKUP SINGER

FROM SOME OLD MOTOWN GROUP.

HEY, HOW Y'ALL DOIN'?

WE THE WETLOCKS.

YEAH.

YOU TAKE THIS WOMAN?

YOU DO?

♪ HE SAY HE DO

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

BEING THE BEST MAN, YOU'RE IN

CHARGE OF THE BACHELOR PARTY.

I THROW GOOD BACHELOR PARTIES--

GOOD BACHELOR PARTIES.

YOU KIND OF WAKE UP AT

FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING,

YOU'RE ONLY CONCERN IS TO MAKE

BAIL.

(LAUGHTER)

AND WE DRANK SAMBUCA ALL NIGHT.

I LOVE SAMBUCA.

DRANK LIKE A BOTTLE AND A HALF

OF THIS STUFF.

HAD WHAT IS KNOWN AS A SAMBUCA

DREAM.

IT LAST LIKE THREE HOURS IN

TECHNICOLOR AND THERE'S CREDITS

ROLLING AT HE END.

I REMEMBER THIS ONE SCENE WHERE

I'M IN A HOT TUB WITH

TYRA BANKS, JENNIFER LOPEZ--

AND YOU WERE THERE, SWEETIE,

YOU WERE THERE.

(LAUGHTER)

YEAH, HE WAS THERE, TOO,

BUT HE WAS RUNNING THE CAMERA.

AND, AH...

(LAUGHTER)

THINGS WERE GOING GREAT.

THIS WHOLE RABBIT PLAYING A

BASS DRUM, STARTED TALKING TO

THE CHIHUAHUA SPEAKING SPANISH.

(LAUGHTER)

MUST'VE BEEN SLEEPWALKING,

BECAUSE WHEN I WOKE UP, I WAS IN

A GREYHOUND STATION COMPLETELY

NAKED HANDCUFFED TO A GOAT.

IT WAS LEGAL, CAUSE THE GOAT

WAS WEARING A WEDDING DRESS,

YOU KNOW.

(AUDIENCE GROANS)

THE PICTURES CAME OUT NICE--

WE DIDN'T GET MANY PRESENTS,

BUT I THINK HER KIDS MIGHT

COME OUT LOOKING PRETTY COOL.

SEE, CAUSE GOATS HAVE KIDS--

IT'S A PUN.

SEE, GOATS HAVE...

HEY, WELL (BLEEP) YOU, TOO,

PEOPLE.

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