Eugene Mirman - Banner Ads

  • Season 1 , Ep 1
  • 01/08/2010
  • Views: 28,931

Health care is something no one should get because there are too many people, especially Chinese people. Right? (2:30)

THAT'LL HAVEA DIVISIVE BANNER AD,

AND IT'LL ASK A QUESTION,AND THEN LEAD--

BUT IT'S REALLYTO JUST LEAD YOU TO THEIR SITE.

THIS IS ONE THAT I SAWON MYSPACE.

IT SAYS, "SHOULD GAY MARRIAGESBE ALLOWED?

AND THESE ARE JUSTTWO GAY HANDS HOLDING.

AND THEN YOU CLICK ON IT,AND THEN IT SAYS,

"SHOULD GAYS BE ALLOWEDTO MARRY?"

AND YOU CAN EITHER PICK YESOR NO,

AND THEN REGARDLESSOF WHAT YOU CHOOSE,

IT THEN GOES,"GET 2 BLACKBERRY STORMS!"

(laughter)

THEY DON'T CARE AT ALL.

(laughter)

THAT IS A GREAT WAY TO DRIVETRAFFIC TO YOUR WEB SITE.

SO I'VE DECIDED TO MAKEA BUNCH OF BANNER ADS

TO DRIVE TRAFFIC TO MINE.

THIS IS ONE--

"IS IT WORSE TO BE RACISTAT NIGHT?"

(laughter)

I DON'T KNOW.

"SHOULD THE IRAQ WAR BE A WAROR SOMETHING ELSE,

LIKE DONUTS OR TELEVISION?"

(laughter)

"IS BARACK OBAMA BLACK ENOUGHTO BE PRESIDENT?"

AND YOU CAN EITHER PICK"YES, HE IS"

OR "NO, YOU DIDN'T."

(laughter and applause)

"SHOULD SCOTT BAIOHAVE HIS OWN MAYO?"

(laughter)

"SHOULD JEWS BE REQUIREDTO GO TO SLEEP BY 11:00 PM?"

AND THERE'S ONLY ONE OPTION.IT JUST SAYS "OY, VEH!"

(laughter and applause)

"WHY DO YOU THINK POOR PEOPLERUIN BIRTHDAYS?"

(laughter)

"BECAUSE THEY'RE POOR,""BECAUSE THEY'RE NO FUN."

(laughter)

I DON'T KNOWWHY YOU THINK THAT.

"SHOULD ABORTION BE SAFEOR FREE?"

(laughter)

I DON'T KNOW, BUT REGARDLESSOF WHAT YOU CLICK,

IT THEN GOES,"BUY TWO EUGENE MIRMANS!"

(laughter)

(cheers and applause)

YEAH.

AND THE LAST ONE--"HEALTH CARE IS SOMETHING

"NO ONE SHOULD GET BECAUSETHERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE,

ESPECIALLY CHINESE PEOPLE,RIGHT?"

AND THEN YOU CAN EITHER CLICK"YES" OR "WAIT, WHAT?"

(laughter)

THANKS.

(cheers and applause)

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