Marc Maron - Ice Cream Addiction

  • Season 1 , Ep 2
  • 12/07/1998
  • Views: 2,852

You are not kidding anyone when you put away a pint of ice cream before it's done. (1:41)

I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU'CAUSE IT'S A LITTLE ODD.

I HAD TO TURN MY BACKON BEN AND JERRY'S ICE CREAM.

YEAH, I KNOW, IT'S SAD, BUT LOOK

I'M NOT SAYINGI DON'T LIKE ICE CREAM, MAN.

I CAN PUT AWAY A PINTOF ICE CREAM IN 20 MINUTES

AND I NEVER COMMIT TO ITRIGHT OUT.

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU DO THAT,YOU GET A PINT

AND YOU JUST LIKE, MMM...MMM, MMM.

YOU PUT IT AWAYAND YOU JUST SIT DOWN.

YOU GO, "WHAT THE HELLAM I THINKING?"

BUT I HAD TO TURN MY BACK ON ITFOR ONE REASON.

IT USED TO BE GOOD ICE CREAM,BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED.

THEY USED TO HAVEINTERESTING FLAVORS

BUT NOW YOU GET THE FEELING

THEY'RE JUST PUTTING STUFF INJUST TO SELL THE STUFF.

HOW COMPLICATEDCAN ICE CREAM FLAVORS BE?

HOW MUCH CAN YOU PUT IN THERE?

WHEN THE FLAVOR'S SOMETHING LIKE

BANANA ICE CREAMWITH CARAMEL-FUDGE CHUNKS

CHEDDAR GOLDFISH AND PENNIES...

( laughter )

YOU GOT TO DRAW A LINE THERE,YOU KNOW?

STOP AT CURRENCY.

I, UH, I DON'T GET ADDICTEDTO EVERYTHING.

I LIKE THE VICE,BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN A GAMBLER.

DO YOU PEOPLE LIKE TO GAMBLE?

Man:NOW AND AGAIN.

"NOW AND AGAIN"?

I'M JUST NO GOOD AT IT.

AND YOU CAN'T GET ADDICTEDTO SOMETHING YOU'RE BAD AT

'CAUSE THENYOU'RE JUST AN IDIOT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

IF YOU DON'T AT LEASTHAVE THAT MOMENT

WHERE YOU GO, "OH, MY GOD!

THIS IS THE BEST THINGI'VE EVER DONE!"

AND THEN RUIN YOUR LIFEAFTER THAT

YOU'RE JUST AN IDIOT, YOU KNOW?

AND I'M A BAD GAMBLER.

I'M THE KIND OF GUY,IF I'M AT A BLACKJACK TABLE

DEALER'S GOT 16, I GOT 20,I'LL HIT.

"COME ON. HIT ME!"

HE'S LIKE, "ARE YOU SURE, SIR?"

"SHUT UP, MAN!IT'S MY NIGHT. HIT ME."

AND IF YOU'VE EVER PLAYEDBLACKJACK

YOU'LL KNOW THAT THE FREAKNEXT TO YOU

WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT

WILL GO,"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN?

YOU'RE SCREWING UP MY CARDS."

AND I JUST LOOK AT HIM,I GO, "I'M GAMBLING."

( laughter )

Loading...