Eliot Chang - Position Is Filled

  • Season 14 , Ep 19
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 17,207

Eliot Chang will not hang out with a hot girl if she's a despicable human being. (1:36)

WITH ME, JUST TELL ME.

THAT'S COOL.I'LL STILL HANG OUT.

I WILL STILL HANG OUT,'CAUSE THIS IS MY DEAL.

I ONLY HANG OUT WITH GIRLS

WHO I ACTUALLY ENJOYTHEIR COMPANY

AND I WANT TO [BLEEP]

BUT I DO NOT HANG OUTWITH A HOT GIRL

IF SHE'S A DESPICABLEHUMAN BEING,

'CAUSE THERE'S ENOUGH COOL,INTELLIGENT, BEAUTIFUL WOMEN

OUT THERE, YOU KNOW?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THERE ARE ENOUGH GREAT WOMENTO GO AROUND,

SO, GUYS, YOU DON'T NEEDTO DO THAT.

SO, LADIES, IF YOU DON'T WANTTO HAVE SEX,

JUST TELL ME,"WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE SEX."

COOL. YOU KNOW, JUST PAYFOR YOUR MEAL. ALL RIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT?

WHAT, AM I SUPPOSED TO FEED YOU

SO YOU CAN GET ENERGYTO [BLEEP] SOME OTHER GUY?

WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?WHO AM I, CAPTAIN FEED A HO?

ARE YOU HIGH?

I'M GONNA REINVEST THAT MONEYINTO A PROMISING RETURN,

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

BUT IF YOU DON'T WANTTO HAVE SEX,

JUST TELL ME,"WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE SEX."

FINE, BUT I HATE ITWHEN A GIRL

TRIES TO OFFER MEA LAME CONSOLATION PRIZE,

'CAUSE GIRLSWILL SAY THINGS LIKE,

"OH, WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE SEX,

BUT I'LL GIVE YOUA [BLEEP] JOB."

[ LAUGHTER ]

I HAVE HANDS!

[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THEY HAVE THE JOB.THE POSITION IS FILLED.

I DON'T NEED TO OUTSOURCETHE WORK, ALL RIGHT?

IF YOU'VE GOTA VAGINA JOB FOR ME,

WE CAN TALK,'CAUSE I AM HIRING.

I'M LIKE McDONALD'S.I AM ALWAYS HIRING.

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