JERRY PAPPAS WAS ATTENDING TOHIS NORMAL JANITORIAL DUTIES

AT THE GOODWIN LABORATORY

WHEN HE CAME UPONA LARGE, FUTURISTIC MACHINE,

WHICH THE SCIENTISTS

HAD INEFFECTIVELY ATTEMPTEDTO DISGUISE.

>> BULL[bleep].

>> JERRY INSTANTLY UNDERSTOODTHAT HE HAD STUMBLED UPON...

A TIME MACHINE,

AND HE SET OUTTO DO SOMETHING TRULY NOBLE.

>> [crying]

>> HEY.

THERE, THERE, MARY MAGDALEN.

WE'RE ALL GOING TO MISS JESUS;HE WAS A REALLY GOOD GUY.

COME HERE.TELL JERRY ABOUT IT.

>> BUT THAT NIGHT,

FOR THE FIRST TIMEIN ALMOST TWO YEARS,

JERRY PAPPAS GOT LAID.

THE NEXT MORNING,

AFTER AN AWKWARD BRUNCHWITH MARY MAGDALEN,

JERRY RETURNED TO THE PRESENT,

TOOK A QUICK TRIPTO THE LOCAL HALLOWEEN STORE,

SMEARED HIMSELFWITH BODY SPRAY SAMPLES,

AND BECAME...

THE TIME GIGOLO.

>> OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.