Wyatt Cenac - Friend's 30th Birthday

Season 1 , Ep 101 05/14/11 Views: 66,913

When a friend wanted to go to Medieval Times for his birthday, Wyatt Cenac thought he wanted to build a time machine. (1:36)

I HAVE A FRIEND WHO RECENTLYTURNED 30 YEARS OLD.

HE HAD OTHER OPTIONS.

THAT'S WHAT HE WENT WITH.

BUT FOR HIS 30TH BIRTHDAY,HE WANTED TO CELEBRATE.

HE WANTED TO DO SOMETHING BIG,SO WE WERE LIKE,

"OKAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

YOU WANT TO GO SKYDIVING?

YOU WANT TO GO TO A STRIP CLUB?

YOU WANT TO GET A BIG STEAKDINNER?

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

HE WAS LIKE, "I WANT TO GOTO MEDIEVAL TIMES!"

[cheers and applause]WHICH AT FIRST, I THOUGHT

THAT MEANT HE WANTED TO MAKEA TIME MACHINE,

WHICH THAT I WAS ACTUALLYCOOL WITH, 'CAUSE I WAS LIKE,

"OH, THAT'S GREAT,"LIKE, WE'LL HANG OUT, BOND,

AS WE TRY TO FIGURE OUTHOW TO MAKE A FLUX CAPACITOR.

AND, YOU KNOW, I MEAN,WE'D GO BACK IN TIME,

BET ON SUPER BOWLSAND WARN RITCHIE VALENS

NOT TO GET ON THAT AIRPLANE,YOU KNOW?

YOU CAN SAVE WHO YOU WANT.

I'M GONNA SAVE...

[cheers and applause]THAT'S NOT WHAT

MY FRIEND WANTED TO DO.

HE WANTED TO GOTO MEDIEVAL TIMES,

THE DINNER AND A SHOW PLACE.

WHICH, I DON'T KNOW IFANY OF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN THERE.

[cheering]NO!

NO!

DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE!

DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM.

THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU.

THESE PEOPLE ARE NOTYOUR FRIENDS.

IF SOMEONE INVITES YOUTO MEDIEVAL TIMES,

THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND.

THEY DO NOT HAVE YOURBEST INTERESTS AT HEART.

YOU NEED TO THROW NICKELSIN THEIR FACE

AND CUT YOUR LOSSES,WHICH ARE REALLY

JUST THE NICKELS YOU THREW.

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