Owen Smith - Magic Stick

Season 2 , Ep 1 01/26/12 Views: 2,660

Owen Smith would like to know when white people became the big penis people. (2:23)

HAS YOUR DICK BEEN,"

THAT IS WHATIT IS, RIGHT?

KEEP IT INYOUR PANTS, MAN.

SPEAKIN' OF DICKS--I'M WATCHIN' THIS SHOW...

ON HBO.

Y'ALL SEEN THE SHOWCALLED "HUNG" ON HBO?

YEAH.

YEAH-- WHITE GUYSLOVE IT, YEAH.

YOU KNOW, IT'S ABOUTA WHITE GUY WITH A HUGE DICK.

THAT'S THE SHOW.

SEASON THREE CAME BACK,HE GOT COMPETITION.

I'M LIKE,"OH, IT'S A BROTHER!"

NO, THEY FOUND ANOTHERWHITE GUY WITH A BIGGER DICK.

I'M LIKE, "WHEREARE THEY FINDIN'

"THESE BIG DICKWHITE DUDES?

"WHEN DID THEY BECOMETHE BIG PENIS PEOPLE?

"THAT WAS OUR THING."

LET'S PLAY THE STEREOTYPEGAME, SHALL WE?

IF I SAY, "GOOD ATMATH," YOU'D SAY...

- ASIAN.- ASIAN.

- WOW, HE SAID IT LIKE HEWAS GONNA WIN SOMETHIN'.

"ASIANS--I GOT THIS!"

[applause]

LIKE HE GONNAWIN A RUSHCARD.

[laughter]

IF I SAY, "7-ELEVEN,"YOU'D SAY...

- INDIAN.- INDIAN.

- HE KNEW THAT ONE--GODDAMN.

IF I SAY, "ALWAYS GOT ABUNCH OF PEOPLE IN ONE CAR,"

YOU'D SAY...

- MEXICANS!

- GODDAMN!

MEX-- EVERYBODY,"MEXICANS!"

I WAS THINKINGCLOWNS, BUT OKAY.

[laughter]

AND I SAY, "KNOWN FORHAVIN' REAL BIG DICKS,"

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIKE, "WHITE PEOPLE!"

LOOK, Y'ALL, I'M A SIXFOOT FIVE BLACK MAN.

I'M NOT SMALL.

I'M BLESSED, BUT I DON'THAVE A SHOW ABOUT IT.

I COULD NEVER PITCHTHAT SHOW TO HBO.

I COULDN'T WALKINTO HBO, LIKE,

"HBO, I GOT THESHOW FOR Y'ALL, MAN.

YEAH.

IT'S ABOUT A BLACK DUDEWITH A BIG DICK, RIGHT?

AND ALL HE'D DO ISFUCK BITCHES ALL DAY.

[laughter]

I CALL IT'MAGIC STICK.'

[laughter]

"YEAH, WE CAN'T CALL IT'HUNG' FOR HISTORICAL REASONS.

"YOU UNDERSTAND."

[laughter and applause]

IT'S TOO SOON--IT'S TOO SOON.

YOU'D CRASH THE CAR IF YOUSAW A BIG ASS BILLBOARD

OF ME WITH THE WORDS"HUNG" NEXT TO IT.

[laughter]

WHAT THE FUCK?

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