Shaun Majumder - Culture

  • Season 12 , Ep 24
  • 01/11/2008
  • Views: 16,036

Even animals are allowed to keep their way of life in America. (2:36)

COME TO YOUR COUNTRY AND WORK.LIKE I SAY, WE HAVE

TWO GREAT COUNTRIES,CANADA AND THE U.S.

AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL'CAUSE WE CAN KEEP OUR CULTURES.

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE COME FROMALL OVER THE WORLD

AND THEY COME HERE AND YOU'REALLOWED TO KEEP YOUR LANGUAGE.

EVEN ANIMALS ARE ALLOWEDTO KEEP THEIR WAY OF LIFE,

YOU KNOW, WHEREVERTHEY'VE COME FROM.

I HAVE A FRIENDWHO HAD A LITTLE KITTEN

HE BROUGHT OVER FROM SCOTLAND.IT WAS SO CUTE

TO HEAR HIM SPEAKIN HIS NATIVE TONGUE.

I WAS LIKE, "HI LITTLEKITTY, KITTY, KITTY."

HE LOOKED UP AT MEWITH HIS BIG POUTY EYESAND HE WAS LIKE,

- "MEE-UUW!- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

MEE-UUW! ACH, MEE-UUW.ACH--" FUR BALL.

I LOVE THAT MOVE--THAT GAG MOVE.

YOU KNOW I LOVE IT--UGH-- WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT.

YOU SHOW THEM A PICTURE OFMAGGOTS AND A BANANA SUNDAE

AND THEY'RE LIKE,"UGH, THAT'S GROSS."

I SAW THIS KID, AND HE WASDOING THIS WITH HIS FINGER.

IT WAS SO AWESOME.HE'D TAKE HIS FINGER

AND GO-- UGH-- AND HE WAS SOHAPPY WITH HIS NEW DISCOVERY,

A NEW PART OF HIS BODY THAT--AND HE JUST KEPT DOING IT--

I WAS LIKE, "BUDDY,YOU BETTER STOP. MY GOD.

"THAT'S GONNA JUSTTAKE HOLD AND BE A TICK,

"YOU KNOW, JUST A PARTOF YOUR EVERYDAY SPEECH.

"MAYBE IT'LL LAY DORMANTFOR 22 YEARS, YOU KNOW.

"AND THEN IT'LL JUST HIT YOUWHEN YOU'RE IN A JOB INTERVIEW.

THAT WOULD SUCK." YOU KNOW,"SO BILLY, WHY DO YOU

WANT TO WORK FOR USHERE AT MILLER ESTEVEZ?"

"OH, I DON'T KNOW,YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M READY.

"I THINK ONE OFTHE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS

"THAT WE CAN ALL LEARN FROMAS WE GO THROUGH--

"WITH THIS VENTUREIS THAT PEOPLE--

IS WHAT'S REALLYIMPORTANT IN BUSINESS.

"IT'S NOT MONEY.AND WHEN I USED TO PLAY

"COED SAINT PAT'S I'D FOUNDTHAT ONE OF THE MOST

"IMPORTANT THINGSWAS LEADERSHIP.

"AND, I MEAN, YOU'LL FINDIF YOU PUT ME FACE TO FACE

"WITH A CUSTOMER YOU'LL-- UGH--YOU'LL NOTICE THAT TOGETHER

"WE CAN BUILD BRIDGES THAT--UGH-UGH-- NO ONE ELSE WILL

"EVER BE ABLE TO BRIDGE.UGH, UGH--

"YOU CAN PUT ME ON THE PHONES.I'M VERY GOOD ON THE PHONES.

"HELLO, YOU'VE REACHEDMILLER AND-- UGH, UGH, UGH--

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

MAY I HELP YOU?"

WHEW, I THINK I JUSTTORE MY KEGEL MUSCLE.

LISTEN, YOU GUYS HAVE BEENA LOT OF FUN.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME.MY NAME IS SHAUN.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY COMEDY CENTRAL.

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