Andrew Kennedy - Hong Kong

  • Season 11 , Ep 3
  • 01/18/2007
  • Views: 14,273

Andrew moved to the whitest town on the planet. (2:42)

NINE-YEARS-OLD,MY OLDER BROTHER WAS 11;

MY YOUNGER BROTHER LAWRENCE WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD.

WE WERE KIDS LIVING IN HONG KONG.HOW COOL IS THAT?

THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND,EVERYTHING YOU WERE PLAYING WITH

WAS MADE HERE, RIGHT HERE. THEY HAVE IT IN STOCK.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

WE'RE GETTING EVERYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS, LOLO.

- WE'RE GET-- JUST-- - [LAUGHTER]

HOW COOL IT IS AS A KIDTO TURN OVER YOUR TOY

AND JUST READ, "MADE HERE."

- [BING, BING] - [LAUGHTER]

THEN WE WENT TO THE STATES, WENT BACK TO VENEZUELA,

AND THEN MOVED TONEW CANAAN, CONNECTICUT,

THE WHITEST TOWN ON THE PLANET.

DO YOU KNOW HOW I KNOWIT WAS THE WHITEST TOWN?

'CAUSE I WAS THE BLACK KID AT SAX MIDDLE SCHOOL,

THAT'S HOW WHITE THIS TOWN WAS.I WAS THE BLACK KID, LOOK AT ME.

I LOOK LIKE ALL THE OTHER KIDS IN

[SNOOTY VOICE]NEW CANAAN, CONNECTICUT, OH YES.

BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH THAT YOU LOOK LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE THERE

'CAUSE THEY CHECK YOUR BLOODLINES WHEN YOU MOVE INTO THE TOWN

BEFORE YOU CAN BECOMEPART OF THE COLLECTIVE.

THEY PULLED ME OUT OF CLASS ONE DAY.

"OH YES, WE HAVE THE RESULTS-- ANDREW,

AND THERE'S A GLITCH IN YOUR DNA."

- "WHAT? - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

A GLITCH IN MY D--" "YES. YOU'RE NOT ALL WHITE.

"YES, YOU ARE A LATINO WITH SOME TYPE OF CAUCASIAN GLAZING.

- "YES IT'S-- - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"A NEW TYPE OF HISPANICNOT EASILY DETECTED,AND WE'RE NO PLEASED.

HOW CAN WE PROFILE? WE CAN'T DO IT."

'CAUSE WHEN YOU COMBINE ETHNICITIES,

YOU COULD END UP WITH JUST ABOUT ANYTHING.

MY FAMILY IS A RECESSIVE GENE POOL.

IT'S LIKE A FRAPPE OF RECESSIVENESS.

MY GREAT-GRANDMOTHER ON MY MOTHER'S SIDE WAS BLACK.

YEAH, TAKE THAT IN FOR A SECOND,

I DIDN'T WANNA START AND OPEN THE SHOW WITH THAT,

I WANTED TO EASE INTO THAT. MY GREAT-GRANDMOTHER

ON MY MOTHER'S SIDE WAS BLACK, MOEISA.

AND SHE MARRIED A EUROPEAN, AND HER DAUGHTER,

MY GRANDMOTHER MARRIED A EUROPEAN,

SO THERE'S A LOT OFRECESSIVENESS GOING ON,

WHICH EXPLAINS WHY MY BROTHERS AND I LOOK NOTHING AT ALL ALIKE.

MY BROTHERS AND I ARE ALL DIFFERENT HEIGHTS, HAIR COLOR,

EYE COLOR, SKIN TONE, SEXUAL ORIENTATION.

WE DON'T EVEN LOOK LIKE A FAMILY.

YOU LOOK AT A PHOTO IT LOOKS LIKE PEOPLE

JUST GATHERED AT ABUS STOP ON A SUNNY DAY.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

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