John Oliver - Holy F**king Sh*t

  • Season 3, Ep 5
  • 08/17/2012
  • Views: 28,577

John Oliver believes there is nothing more unnatural than a space shuttle launch. (2:27)

they've heard the voice of God.

Now, it's not clear of that36%,

how many people are mistakingthe voice of God for

the voice of Morgan Freeman.

That's, that's an easy mistaketo make.

That's easy to confuse.

"What's that, God?

The penguins went where?"

But I do worry sometimes thatGod gets too much credit,

specifically where thatcredit should actuallybe going to mankind.

Let me explain that.

Last year, I saw the singlegreatest thing I've ever

witnessed in the flesh.

Because of "The Daily Show"I got to go to the final

Space Shuttle launch.

Has anyone here witnessed aSpace Shuttle launch in person?

Really, you have?What did you think?

Man: It was awesome.

It was awesome, it wasawesome. It was awesome.

I would say it was [bleep]awesome.

That's what I think swearwords are for.

If you don't use them, thenwhen do you deploy them?

But we basically agree.

It was the single greatest thingI've ever witnessed in my life.

I nearly cried.

And I was not expecting tofeel that way.

A lot of people theresaid they found it areligious experience.

And I found it the opposite ofthat because it is ungodly.

There is nothing more unnaturalthan a Space Shuttle launch.

It is mankind fighting natureand winning.

Nature is trying to suckus back down to earth and

we fight it by strappingourselves to the top of

a missile, and throughrocket power,

through violence and purefire,

we lift ourselves off theface of the planet,

and in doing so,basically tell Florida

to go [deleted] itself.

As I saw that moment happen,I said the only thing that

was in my heart at themoment.

I shouted out, "holy[bleep]!"

And my phone started buzzing inmy pocket: text, text, text.

When I eventually checked myphone,

it turned out that--completely accidentally,

you have to believe me.

I swear to you this is true,through complete accident.

It turned out I wasstanding directly in

Fox News' live shot.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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