Eddie Ifft - Drugs for the Elderly

  • Season 13 , Ep 15
  • 01/11/2009
  • Views: 17,368

Eddie thinks drug should be legal for the elderly. If you're 90, you made it. (1:26)

THAT THIS ISN'TTHE LAND OF THE FREE.

'CAUSE I JUST WENTTO AMSTERDAM, I THINK.

[ SCATTERED WHOOPING ]

YEAH, YOU GO THERE,AND YOU FIND OUT THINGS LIKE

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVELEGAL THINGS LIKE DRUGS.

AND, YOU KNOW,I GOT TO BE HONEST,

I THINK DRUGS SHOULD BE LEGAL...FOR THE ELDERLY.

LIKE, REALLY,IF YOU'RE 90, YOU MADE IT.

LIKE, COME ON.YOU SHOULD BE DEAD ANYWAYS.

DOES ANYBODY CARE IF, LIKE,A 90-YEAR-OLD DOES DRUGS?

THEY MAKE A BIG DEALOUT OF A 90th BIRTHDAY PARTY.

THEY BRING OUT A CAKE.

DON'T BRING OUT A CAKE.BRING A POUND OF COCAINE.

BE LIKE, "GO AHEAD, GRANDPA,PUT YOUR NOSE IN THAT.

"YOU'RE PROBABLYGONNA DIE TOMORROW

"FROM TRIPPING OVER A RUGAND BREAKING YOUR HIP.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO OUTWITH A BANG, SERIOUSLY."

AND NOBODY WANTS TO GOTO NURSING HOMES

TO VISITTHEIR GRANDPARENTS EVER.

BUT IF GRANDPA'S A TWEAKER...

THAT'S A PARTY.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

IT'S EMBARRASSING WHEN GRANDMAPOOPS HER PANTS --

NOT IF SHE'S ON MUSHROOMS.

WHEN I'M 90, I'M DOING HEROIN.REALLY, I'M GONNA DO IT.

SERIOUSLY, I'M GONNA BE LIKE,"GO AHEAD, TAP A VEIN.

"THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.

"YOU MIGHT AS WELL SHOOT ITRIGHT IN THE ONE IN MY FOREHEAD.

GO AHEAD."

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