David Cross - Dead Body

  • Season 1, Ep 12
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 13,528

David plans on giving his body to necrophiliacs. (1:48)

(David Cross)SO LET ME ASKYOU SOMETHING.

IT'S LIKE, A GOODSECOND DATE QUESTION.

WHEN YOU DIE, DO YOU WANTTO BE BURIED OR CREMATED?

YOU KNOW, I'LLBE LIKE...

UH... I DON'T CARE.

I DON'T GIVE A(bleep), REALLY.

NEITHER, OR ALLOF IT, OR BOTH,

OR YOU CAN TEAR MEASUNDER WITH HORSES.

I-I DON'T CARE.

JUST, I DON... THROWME OFF A BUILDING.

JUST GET SOME USEOUT OF MY BODY.

DO SOMETHING WITH IT.

I'M GONNA BE DEAD.

I'VE DECIDED I'MGOING TO WILL MY BODY

TO A BUNCH OFNECROPHILIACS, YOU KNOW?

SO THEY CAN--SOMEBODYCAN GET SOME PLEASURE.

YEAH, WHY NOT?

GO AHEAD.

JUST, UH, LET THEMHAVE AT IT, YOU KNOW?

AND BE GUILT FREE WITHIT FOR ONCE, YOU KNOW?

NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO ANDDIG UP CADAVERS OR ANYTHING,

AND, YOU KNOW,THEY HAVE TO DO THAT

(bleep) AT NIGHT ANDTHEY NEVER GET ANY SLEEP

AND THEY'RE TOO (bleep)AT THEIR JOBS THE NEXT DAY.

NO, HERE-HERE'S A PRESENTTO ALL YOU NECROPHILIACS.

TAKE ME, TAKE MYDEAD LIFELESS BODY.

I DON'T CARE.

I DON'T CARE BECAUSEI CAN'T CARE,

BECAUSE I'M DEAD.

DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

I REMEMBER THAT THING INGEORGIA, WHERE THE GUY...

HE WASN'T BURYING THEBODIES OR CREMATING THEM.

HE JUST THREW THEMOUT IN THIS POND.

LIKE 180 OF THEM,AND WHATEVER.

AND EVERYBODYWAS OUTRAGED.

THEY WERE GONNALYNCH THE GUY.

(crying)OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDTHAT TO MY AUNT'S BODY!

MY AUNT'S DEAD BODY!

MY AUNT'S DEAD BODY!

THROWING IT IN THE LAKE.

I WANTED TO BURN IT...

TO A PILE OF ASHES!

MY OWN SWEET AUNT,JUST NOTHING BUT ASHES.

HOW DARE YOU TAKE THATJOYFUL FEELING AWAY FROM ME!

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