Rachel Feinstein - Hot Spot

  • Season 14, Ep 11
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 20,883

Rachel Feinstein's definition of hell is being attached to someone who disgusts you. (3:35)

I NOTICE NOW THAT THERE'STHIS NEW KIND OF HARASSING,

WHERE GUYS WILL DO THIS THING

WHERE THEY KIND OFWALK BEHIND YOU

AND THEY'LL ACT LIKE THEY HAVE

SOME VERY IMPORTANTINFORMATION FOR YOU,

BUT IT'S --IT'S A BIT OF A TRICK.

I WAS WALKING THE OTHER DAY.THIS GUY'S WALKING BEHIND ME.

AND HE KEEPS TALKING TO ME

IN THIS DUMB, GENTLE,SLOW-JAM VOICE.

[ Deep voice ] HE KEEPS GOING,"EXCUSE ME, MISS, NO --

NO DISRESPECT, BABY GIRL,BUT I JUST --"

[ LAUGHTER ]

"I'M SAYIN'.I'M SAYIN'.

"NO DISRESPECT.I'M SAYIN', BOY.

"I JUST GOT ONE THINGI WANT TO DISCUSS WITH YOU.

"JUST ONE THING -- THAT'S ALL.

MM. MM. MM."

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

"PLEASE, BABY.COME ON, BABY.

I'M SAYIN'."

[ Normal voice ]LIKE, REALLY, THE TWO OF US --

WE HAVE SOME BUSINESS TOGETHER.

WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

BUT I'M A BIT OF A DRINKER,

SO THERE'S ALWAYS THAT CHANCE IDROPPED A DEBIT CARD, YOU KNOW?

I KIND OF HAVE TO TURN AROUND.

I'M, UH...

I'M A SLOPPY GAL.

SO, I TURN AROUND.HE GOES...

[ Deep voice ]"NO -- NO DISRESPECT, BABY GIRL.

"I JUST --I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW

"THAT YOUR DRESS IS, LIKE,A LITTLE BIT SEE-THROUGH.

"JUST WANT TO -- JUST TRYIN'TO LOOK OUT, YOU KNOW?

JUST WANT TO LET --JUST TRYIN' TO LOOK OUT."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"I GOT YOU.I GOT YOU."

[ Normal voice ]IT'S LIKE, "REALLY?

"AND WHAT ARE YOU, SOME SORT OFGUARDIAN ANGEL OF THE STREETS,

"TRYING TO PROTECT ME FROM A MANTHAT MIGHT BE AROUSED BY THAT?

"NOT YOU, NO, GOD FORBID.

NO, IT'S SOMEBODY ELSE.THAT'S NOT YOUR POST."

[ LAUGHTER ]

SO, I START TO TURN AROUND,

AND I REALIZED THAT HEWAS WALKING SO CLOSE TO ME

THAT SOMEHOW THE ZIPPERON HIS JACKET

GOT CAUGHT IN MY DRESS, WHICH --THAT'S RIGHT.

FOR -- FOR ME, THAT'S SORT OFTHE DEFINITION OF HELL,

BEING ATTACHED TO SOMEONEYOU'RE DISGUSTED BY.

AND I REALIZED THAT WE WEREGONNA HAVE TO WORK AS A TEAM

FOR THE NEXT FEW MOMENTSOF OUR LIFE,

TO SORT ALL THIS OUT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

SO, I STOP ON THIS DUMB CORNER.

IT WAS ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS

WHERE YOU HATE EVERYTHINGABOUT THE PERSON.

YOU REALLY HATE THE PERSONNICE AND THOROUGHLY.

YOU'RE JUST LIKE, "UGH. UGH!"LIKE, WE'RE SITTING THERE.

I'M PULLINGON HIS STUPID JACKET.

AND HIS JACKET SAID "HOT SPOT"ON IT.

JUST THOSE TWO MEANINGLESS WORDSWERE MAKING ME SO ANGRY,

YOU KNOW?

[ LAUGHTER ]

I'M PULLING ON HIS --AND HE KEEPS GOING --

AS I'M PULLING ON HIM,HE KEEPS GOING...

[ Deep voice ]"COME ON, BABY GIRL.

"JUST TRY TO BE EASY.YOU GOT TO BE EASY WITH THESE.

JUST WANT YOU TO BE EASY.TAKE IT EASY."

[ Normal voice ]HE SAYS IT IN THIS VOICE

LIKE WE'RE HAVING SEX, AND I'MA LITTLE TOO EXCITED AGAIN.

I'M GETTING TO THAT POINT

WHERE I CAN'T CONTROL MY LUSTANY LONGER.

SO, I'M PULLING ON IT,AND RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT,

I SEE THIS GUYTHAT I DATED A YEAR AGO.

AND HE ACTUALLY DUMPED ME.

HE TOLD ME DIDN'TSEE IT GOING ANYWHERE

BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVEENOUGH OF A PLAN IN LIFE.

AND OF COURSE,THIS IS THE [BLEEP] MOMENT

HE'S GOT TO SEE ME,OF ALL THE MOMENTS, YOU KNOW?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

IT'S GOT TO BE NOW.

LIKE, THERE'S NO WAYI CAN EXPLAIN WHAT'SGOING ON AS HE'S PASSING.

THERE'S NO POSSIBLE WAYI CAN TELL HIM

WHY I'M ALL, LIKE,CAUGHT UP IN THE THROES OF LOVE

WITH HOMELESS JENKINS OVER HERE.

AND I DIDTHE GAYEST THING POSSIBLE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY. I JUST FELTMYSELF GIVING HIM A THUMBS-UP.

IT WAS JUST ONEOF THOSE DUMB, LIKE --

WHO EVEN DOES THAT ANYMORE?

NOBODY GIVES A THUMBS-UP.IT'S NOT DONE. IT'S RIDICULOUS.

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

AND HE GAVE ME ONE BACK, TOO,BUT HIS WAS --

HIS WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENTTHAN MINE.

HIS SORT OF SAID, "BITCH,YOU'RE -- YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN."

[ LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE ]

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