Earthquake - Messenger Pigeons

  • Season 7 , Ep 5
  • 03/06/2003
  • Views: 16,548

The pigeon that just circles the house is call waiting. (2:40)

Earthquake: YES, YES, YES, YES.

THANKS YOU, NEW YORK.

ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE TIME.

WHITE PEOPLE YES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

GOT TO LOVE WHEN WHITE PEOPLE

HOLLER FOR YOU!

THAT GOES DEEP!

GOOD TO BE IN NEW YORK 'CAUSE

I JUST GOT BACK FROM ALABAMA.

IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK IN AMERICA!

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

I WENT TO ALABAMA I WAS

THE SMARTEST BROTHER IN THE

WHOLE STATE.

PEOPLE JUST COMING UP TO ME

ASKING ME QUESTION LIKE

"WHO THE PRESIDENT?"

I'M LIKE GEORGE CLINTON.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO ALABAMA,

IT'S HOT DOWN THERE.

SLAVE HEAT.

IT WAS LIKE 98 DEGREES AT 3:00

IN THE MORNING.

I'M LIKE ALABAMA MUST GOT THEIR

OWN SUN.

(LAUGHTER)

I WAS HIDING FROM THE SUN LIKE

IT WAS THE POLICE, "DAMN,

THEY'RE STILL OUT THERE."

THING AIN'T GONNA NEVER GO DOWN.

YOU DON'T WANT TO GO DOWN

TO ALABAMA.

IT'S PRIMITIVE.

DON'T TAKE YOUR PHONE DOWN

THERE.

AIN'T NO AT&T, AIN'T NO SPRINT.

THEY CALL EACH OTHER THE

OLD FASHION WAY.

THEY USE PIGEONS.

THEY WRITE NOTES AND PUT IT ON

THE PIGEON LEG.

(BIRD NOISE)

(LAUGHTER)

I WENT OVER MY COUSIN'S HOUSE.

THERE WAS PIGEONS ALL ON

THE PORCH.

I'M LIKE, "WHAT'S GOING ON?"

HE'S LIKE, "EARTHQUAKE, LOOK

AT ALL THEM MESSAGES I GOT."

ONE PIGEON DIDN'T EVEN HAVE

A NOTE.

HE JUST SENT IT BACK.

(BIRD NOISE)

I'M LIKE, "WHAT'S THAT?"

HE SAID, "OH, THAT'S STAR 69."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

ONE PIGEON JUST WAS CIRCLING

THE HOUSE.

I LIKE, "WHAT'S THAT?"

HE SAID, "THAT'S CALL WAITING."

(LAUGHTER)

ONE PIGEON TRIED TO FLY BACK.

HE JUST SHOT IT.

POW!

"NOW YOU KNOW I GOT A BLOCK

ON MY PHONE."

(APPLAUSE)

GOT TO BE CAREFUL DOWN THERE.

BE HOT DOWN THERE.

THAT'S WHY I'M SAYING I SEE SOME

BLACK PEOPLE OUT HERE.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU ALL

SOMETHING.

OUR ANCESTORS WERE SOME

BAD PEOPLE.

GOTTA GIVE 'EM SOME, WE GOT

TO GIVE IT TO 'EM, BECAUSE THEY

WERE SLAVES.

COME ON NOW THINK ABOUT IT.

(APPLAUSE)

I WAS DOWN THERE IN ALABAMA,

AIN'T NO WAY I COULD HAVE BEEN

A SLAVE.

NO WAY.

AIN'T NO WAY I COULD HAVE BEEN

PICKING THAT COTTON IN THAT KIND

OF HEAT.

SUN UP, SUN DOWN, NO CHECKS PLUS

ASS WHOOPIN'S.

(LAUGHTER)

I'D A DID IT FOR WHAT,

FIVE MINUTES, "MASTER, I NEED

TO TALK TO YOU."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

PICK A TREE, PICK A TREE,

PICK A TREE."

I BE DAMNED IF I'M GONNA DO THIS

MY WHOLE LIFE.

WHITE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT

ABRAHAM LINCOLN FREED THE

SLAVES, NO HE DIDN'T.

POLYESTER DID.

(LAUGHTER)

THEY STOPPED WEARING COTTON.

THEY HAD TO LET US GO.

I'M TELLING YOU.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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