Earthquake: YES, YES, YES, YES.
THANKS YOU, NEW YORK.
ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE TIME.
WHITE PEOPLE YES.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
GOT TO LOVE WHEN WHITE PEOPLE
HOLLER FOR YOU!
THAT GOES DEEP!
GOOD TO BE IN NEW YORK 'CAUSE
I JUST GOT BACK FROM ALABAMA.
IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK IN AMERICA!
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
I WENT TO ALABAMA I WAS
THE SMARTEST BROTHER IN THE
WHOLE STATE.
PEOPLE JUST COMING UP TO ME
ASKING ME QUESTION LIKE
"WHO THE PRESIDENT?"
I'M LIKE GEORGE CLINTON.
(LAUGHTER)
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO ALABAMA,
IT'S HOT DOWN THERE.
SLAVE HEAT.
IT WAS LIKE 98 DEGREES AT 3:00
IN THE MORNING.
I'M LIKE ALABAMA MUST GOT THEIR
OWN SUN.
(LAUGHTER)
I WAS HIDING FROM THE SUN LIKE
IT WAS THE POLICE, "DAMN,
THEY'RE STILL OUT THERE."
THING AIN'T GONNA NEVER GO DOWN.
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO DOWN
TO ALABAMA.
IT'S PRIMITIVE.
DON'T TAKE YOUR PHONE DOWN
THERE.
AIN'T NO AT&T, AIN'T NO SPRINT.
THEY CALL EACH OTHER THE
OLD FASHION WAY.
THEY USE PIGEONS.
THEY WRITE NOTES AND PUT IT ON
THE PIGEON LEG.
(BIRD NOISE)
(LAUGHTER)
I WENT OVER MY COUSIN'S HOUSE.
THERE WAS PIGEONS ALL ON
THE PORCH.
I'M LIKE, "WHAT'S GOING ON?"
HE'S LIKE, "EARTHQUAKE, LOOK
AT ALL THEM MESSAGES I GOT."
ONE PIGEON DIDN'T EVEN HAVE
A NOTE.
HE JUST SENT IT BACK.
(BIRD NOISE)
I'M LIKE, "WHAT'S THAT?"
HE SAID, "OH, THAT'S STAR 69."
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
ONE PIGEON JUST WAS CIRCLING
THE HOUSE.
I LIKE, "WHAT'S THAT?"
HE SAID, "THAT'S CALL WAITING."
(LAUGHTER)
ONE PIGEON TRIED TO FLY BACK.
HE JUST SHOT IT.
POW!
"NOW YOU KNOW I GOT A BLOCK
ON MY PHONE."
(APPLAUSE)
GOT TO BE CAREFUL DOWN THERE.
BE HOT DOWN THERE.
THAT'S WHY I'M SAYING I SEE SOME
BLACK PEOPLE OUT HERE.
I'M GONNA TELL YOU ALL
SOMETHING.
OUR ANCESTORS WERE SOME
BAD PEOPLE.
GOTTA GIVE 'EM SOME, WE GOT
TO GIVE IT TO 'EM, BECAUSE THEY
WERE SLAVES.
COME ON NOW THINK ABOUT IT.
(APPLAUSE)
I WAS DOWN THERE IN ALABAMA,
AIN'T NO WAY I COULD HAVE BEEN
A SLAVE.
NO WAY.
AIN'T NO WAY I COULD HAVE BEEN
PICKING THAT COTTON IN THAT KIND
OF HEAT.
SUN UP, SUN DOWN, NO CHECKS PLUS
ASS WHOOPIN'S.
(LAUGHTER)
I'D A DID IT FOR WHAT,
FIVE MINUTES, "MASTER, I NEED
TO TALK TO YOU."
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
PICK A TREE, PICK A TREE,
PICK A TREE."
I BE DAMNED IF I'M GONNA DO THIS
MY WHOLE LIFE.
WHITE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT
ABRAHAM LINCOLN FREED THE
SLAVES, NO HE DIDN'T.
POLYESTER DID.
(LAUGHTER)
THEY STOPPED WEARING COTTON.
THEY HAD TO LET US GO.
I'M TELLING YOU.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)