Lisa Landry - Harvey, Louisiana

  • Season 11 , Ep 8
  • 02/01/2007
  • Views: 8,993

Y'ALL ARE GREAT. YOU SOUND LIKE A FUN CROWD.

I LIKE THAT.

AND THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL SPACE, ISN'T IT? I LIKE THAT.

YOU'RE REALLY THIN. I DON'T LIKE THAT.

I DON'T LIKE THAT. I GOT A MUFFIN TOP.

A MUFFIN TOP,THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL IT

WHEN YOUR FAT ROLLS OVER YOUR PANTS.

IT'S A MUFFIN TOP.

'CAUSE THIS IS AMERICA, I AIN'T GONNA DO A SIT UP, I'M GONNA CALL MY [BLEEP]

- SOMETHING CUTE. - [LAUGHTER]

- I GOT A BLUEBERRY CRUMBLE. - [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I WOULD LIKE TO BE THIN, BUT I LIKE FRIED FOOD BETTER.

I'M SOUTHERN, THAT'S ALL WE EAT.

WE WILL FRY UP GREASE AND SERVE IT TO Y'ALL WITH TARTER SAUCE.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

WE FRY VEGETABLES. WE DO.

OKRA, GREEN TOMATOES.

WE FRY CORN BREAD.WE CALL IT A HUSH PUPPY.

NOW WE'RERUNNING AROUND FRYING UPTURKEYS AND CANDY BARS.

IT DON'T STOP.

SOUTHERN PEOPLE DON'T EVEN AGE. WE JUST DROP DEAD.

[LAUGHTER]

SEE I COULD NEVER BE THIN LIKE YOU 'CAUSE THAT'S COUNTING CALORIES ALL DAY

THAT'S TWO THINGS I HATE MATH AND SELF-DEPRIVATION.

[LAUGHTER]

- I LIKE TO PARTY, YEAH.- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OH, YEAH.

- I'M TRAILER PARK. - [LAUGHTER]

IF YOU CUT ME, I BLEED CRYSTAL METH AND KEVIN FEDERLINE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I JUST HATE BEING TOLD WHAT TO EAT AND WHAT NOT TO EAT

AND WHAT TO DRINK AND WHAT NOT TO DRINK.

I FEEL LIKE IT'S MY MISSION IN LIFE TO JUST REJECT

ANY TYPE OF AUTHORITY, AS A MATTER OF FACT.

'CAUSE I'M FROM A SMALL TOWN, IT WAS ALL BOUNDARIES AND--

AND BOREDOM.

- I'M FROM HARVEY, LOUISIANA. - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NO. Y'ALL ARE NICEBUT YOU'RE NOT CLAPPINGFOR HARVEY, LOUISIANA.

THEY GOT BEAUTIFUL TOWN'S BUT HARVEY AIN'T ONE OF 'EM.

HARVEY'S A GREAT PLACE TO LIVE, IF YOU'RE DEAD.

THE PEOPLE ARE SWEET. BUT THERE'S NOTHING TO DO.

LIKE, ON A FRIDAY NIGHT,YOU CAN EITHER

GO TO THE DAIRY QUEENOR MAKE A BABY.

HALF MY COUSINS GOT KNOCKED UP 'CAUSE THEY WERE ON DIETS.

- [LAUGHTER] - NOTHIN' TO DO.

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