Back in Black Friday

Wednesday, November 16, 2016 11/16/2016 Views: 284

With Black Friday descending, James Davis, Arielle Vandenberg and Dan Levy make important in-store announcements to shoppers. (1:18)

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Uh, grab your folding chairsand brass knuckles

and head down to the mall,because Black Friday

is almost here! I mean, sure,some cowards will tell you

you could probably getthe same flat screen on Amazon

for less the following Monday,

but you knowit'll be so much sweeter

if you also get your nose brokenin a food court

by a guy on a Rascal.

It just makes you feel alive!

You're working for it!

So, comedians,as an employee presiding

over Black Friday madness,I would like you to give me

as many in-store announcementsas you can in 60 seconds.

And begin. Arielle.

Whomever left a small child inaisle seven, he's up for grabs.

Yes, points. Very good.James Davis.

This is President-elect Trump.

Why don't we havea White Friday?

That's something he would say!Points.

Arielle.

Attention, all shoppers,make peace with your god.

Points. James Davis.

You make a weapon out of it,you buy it.

All right, points. Arielle.

There are a few more iPhones inthat teargas cloud over there.

All right, points. James.

Aisles seven through nine haveseceded from the United States.

They are formingtheir own government. Dan.

Attention shoppers,I hate my life.

I should have finished college.

All right, points. Perfect.