Joe DeVito - Sex Noises

Season 1, Ep 0104 07/20/2006 Views: 6,342

Joe DeVito tapes his neighbors having bad sex. (2:15)

That's awkward.

They're not even good at it.

This is what I hear:

( male voice )""Oh, baby, I'm really goingto do it to you.

( female voice ):"Oh, baby, do it to me.

Duh, that's whatI said I was going to do."

Every time I hear them,I'm, like,

"I can't believeI'm taping this."

'Cause I don't talk during sex'cause it's embarrassing

and it might wake her up.

'Cause I know I'm notgoing to say anything sexy

and the face I makewhen I'm saying it

is not going to be very sexy,either.

That's why I always weara ski mask when I make love.

I dated an older woman.

Anyone here date someone, like,40 or 50 years older than them?

I don't know what you've heardabout dating the elderly,

but don't believe the hype.

'Cause it's not allearly bird specials

and discount movie passes.

We could never do itat her place

'cause the bed hadthat railing on it.

I think the worst part wasevery time I slapped her ass

the lights would come on.

I don't have great luck.

This is what my luck is like:

I was eating Chinese foodwith my friends

and we're doing that thing

where you readyour fortune out loud.

and at the end you say"in bed."

That makes a little dirty joke.

But they havethese great fortunes.

"You're an extraordinary man..."

in bed.

"Many happy seasonsawait you..."

in bed.

My fortune said, "You willalways have your family's love."

You guys have been great.