Sandra Bernhard - Breast Implants

Jimmie Walker & Andy Kindler Season 1, Ep 0141 02/24/1992 Views: 7,017

Getting breast implants is kind of dangerous. (2:06)

ALTHOUGH I'VE THOUGHTABOUT IT, BECAUSE...

( laughter )

IT WOULD BE NICE IF THEYLOOKED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME.

YOU JUST NEED A GOOD PUSH-UP BRATO REALLY WORK IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.

( laughter )

OF COURSE, YOU KNOW,IT'S KIND OF DANGEROUS

TO HAVE BREAST IMPLANTSAS YOU KNOW.

I MEAN, MAYBE SOMEOF YOU HAVE THEM HERE

AND DON'T WANT TO DISCUSS IT

BUT I WANT TO DISCUSS ITWITH YOU.

( laughter )

FIRST OF ALL, SOMETIMES THEYLEAK ONCE YOU GET THEM IN

WHICH IS LOVELY.

( light laughter )

AND THEN YOU CAN'T FLYON THE CONCORDE

BECAUSE THEY EXPLODE.

( laughter )

SO FORGET GOING TO THE MOON,OR PARIS.

OF COURSE, THEY'RE BOTHTHE SAME, SO YOU KNOW...

JUST STAY AT HOMEIF YOU HAVE BREAST IMPLANTS

OR JUST STAY IN LOW ALTITUDES,DEPENDING.

AND THEN THEY MOVE AROUNDONCE YOU GET THEM IN THERE.

THEY'LL MOVE AROUND ON YOU

AND YOU MIGHT FIND THEMON YOUR BACK...

YOUR HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND MIGHTGIVE IT TO YOU IN THE BOOTY

BECAUSE THEY THINKTHAT'S YOUR FRONT.

THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.

"HONEY, GET OFF OF MY BACK."

( laughter )

THAT'S JUST SOME OF THE DANGERS.

I DON'T KNOW WHY WOMENARE DOING IT.

I MEAN, IN SOME CASES...

THIS GUY IS LIKE LOSINGHIS MIND.

IS THIS ALL JUSTTRIPPING YOU OUT--

THE OUTFIT IS BLOWING YOUR MIND?

BECAUSE YOU CAME HERE

FOR SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED STAND UP COMEDY.

YOU'LL GET TO THAT

BUT RIGHT NOW YOU'REDEALING WITH ME

SO LIGHTEN UP AND...

GET LOOSE AND GET INTO THE MOOD

BECAUSE WE'RE NOT BRINGINGYOU TRADITIONAL...

YOU KNOW, RUN-OF-THE-MILLRIM-SHOT COMEDY HERE.

YOU GUYS JUST RUSHED IN...

WHAT, YOU'VE BEENAT THE BEACH ALL DAY?

OR YOU'VE BEEN WORKING?

ALL DAY, YEAH, WELL, WE'RE BUSY

OR VERY UNCOMFORTABLEIN THIS ATMOSPHERE.

EXTREMELY.

WE'RE WAITING FOR JIMMY WALKERSO HE CAN RELAX.