Screws - Secret Room

  • Season 1 , Ep 3
  • 01/30/2013
  • Views: 16,222

Newlyweds Ted and Gwen decide to build a secret room in their house with the help of Joe, an ethnically ambiguous Screws Hardware employee. (1:23)

Watch Full Episode

AND WE JUST BOUGHTOUR FIRST HOME.

SO WE WENT TO SCREWS.- HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

- SWEETHEART, WHAT IS ITTHAT WE WERE LOOKING FOR AGAIN?

- I DON'T REMEMBER.

- TED AND GWEN SAID THEY WERELOOKING FOR LIGHT BULBS,

BUT I COULD TELL BYTHE VACANT LOOK IN THEIR EYES

THAT THEY WANTEDSOMETHING MORE.

ARE YOU GUYS LOOKINGTO BUILD A SECRET ROOM?

- YES.- NO.

both: YES.

[laughter]- GREAT. FOLLOW ME.

- JOE WAS AMAZING.JUST SO HELPFUL.

SEE, HE HELPED US BUILDA SECRET ROOM

THAT WE COULD REALLYGROW WITH.

I ALWAYS IMAGINED HAVING,LIKE, A LOT OF CAPTIVES.

- WHEREAS I HAD ONLY EVERENVISIONED JUST ONE CAPTIVE.

- [chuckles]WELL, I COME FROM A BIG FAMILY.

- THEY WERE ALL MOLESTED.- HEY...

WE MOLESTED EACH OTHER.- OH--

- I WAS MOLESTEDAS A CHILD TOO,

SO I KNEW EXACTLY WHATTHEY WERE GOING AFTER.

- IT'S SOUNDPROOF?- UH-HUH.

THERE'S ALSO A HANDLEON IT.

- JOE WAS AMAZING ABOUTALL THE FINE DETAILS

AND PERSONAL TOUCHES

THAT WE NEVER WOULD HAVETHOUGHT OF ON OUR OWN.

- YEAH, I MEAN, LIKE,DIRTY BLANKETS

TO MAKE THE PLACE LOOK SICK.- MM-HMM.

OR A DOOR THAT LEADSTO NOWHERE.

- ALL AT SCREWS'EVERYDAY LOW PRICES.

- ONE OF OUR FAVORITE THINGSABOUT JOE WAS THAT

HIS ETHNICITYWAS NICE AND AMBIGUOUS.

- LIKE YOU COULDCUT HIM UP AND EAT HIM,

AND YOU WOULDN'T KNOWWHERE THE ORIGINS

OF THAT MEAT WAS FROM.

- BUT AT THE SAME TIME,YEAH, EXOTIC.

- MM-HMM.- IN A REALLY COOL WAY.

- YEAH.

- I'M FROM THE PACIFIC ISLANDS.

ALL ALONG THIS BACK PART HERE--

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

I DIDN'T PUT ENOUGH VENTILATIONIN HERE.

- SHUT YOUR PIG MOUTH!

- HEY. COME ON.LET ME OUT OF HERE.

Loading...