Jeff Ross - Why I Love My Gangster Bitch Girlfriend

Season 1 , Ep 0108 08/03/98 Views: 5,336

Jeffrey wrote a love poem for his gangster bitch girlfriend. (4:36)

>> Ross: Little change in mood,

if you'll indulge Peter and I.

I wrote a love poem.

Can we dim the lights

a little bit?

[somber violin strains]

Perfect.

[laughter]

I love you guys.

Could I just say that?

Here's a love poem.

I hope you like it.

Hey, Wait a Minute...

by Jeffrey Ross.

Her long tan legs,

those dark bedroom eyes,

her deep, sexy voice;

her huge protruding

Adam's apple.

Hey, wait a minute.

[cheering]

You guys are awesome.

You having fun over there?

Nice talking to you.

Sorry to wake you.

You sound great, man.

Are you having fun?

>> Yeah.

>> Ross: I saw you drinking

between shows.

>> No, I don't drink.

>> Ross: You don't drink?

>> You don't drink either,

right?

>> Ross: I don't drink either.

I'm a lightweight.

One drink and I'm wasted.

Two drinks and I'm gay.

>> Buy you a drink?

>> Ross: [laughing]

[cheers and applause]

I thought you had a girlfriend,

man.

>> Actually I do.

>> Ross: You have a girlfriend,

right?

>> Yeah, she's beautiful.

She's Chinese.

>> Ross: She's Chinese.

I love Chinese women.

You're Korean?

>> Yeah, I'm Korean.

>> Ross: What are you, about 40?

>> No.

No, I'm 21.

>> Ross: You're 21?

>> Yeah.

>> Ross: When I was in college,

I spent a semester in China

as an exchange student.

And I met a girl there.

[violin strains]

And we fell in love.

And this is a poem

that I wrote for her.

[gibberish]

You have dishonored me.

Now I must dump you.

[traditional Chinese music]

All right, this is a love poem,

Peter, mellow it out.

I gotta pour my heart out

to these people now.

From the bottom of my heart,

I hope you like it.

This poem is called

Why I Love My Gangster Bitch

Girlfriend.

It could happen.

I got down on one knee.

I took her hand in mine.

I looked her in the eyes

and said, "I want you to be

my love, my wife, my mate

for life."

She said, "Nigga, please."

And stabbed me in the face

with the box cutter I gave her

on Valentine's Day.

That's why I love my gangster

bitch girlfriend.

Here's the last one.

It's a poem I wrote for my dog.

I love my dog.

It's called Sadie,

Get off the Couch.

Sadie, get off the couch!

Sadie, get off the couch!

Sadie, off the couch!

Sadie! Off the couch!

Good girl.

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