Tom Rhodes - Math

  • Season 5 , Ep 6
  • 08/05/2001
  • Views: 2,204

The problem with being an astronaut is that you have to be good at math. (1:10)

MAN.

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY I WANTED

TO BE AN ASTRONAUT.

THAT WAS LIKE MY FIRST DREAM

IN LIFE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO CHILDHOOD

DREAMS LIKE THAT, HUH?

HOW COME THIS AIN'T A ROOM FULL

OF BALLERINAS AND FIREMEN?

HMM?

I KNOW WHERE I LOST THE DESIRE

TO BE AN ASTRONAUT.

I HEARD YOU HAD TO BE GOOD AT

MATH AND I SUCK AT MATH.

NATURALLY, I'M FROM FLORIDA.

(LAUGHTER)

AND I SUCK AT MATH BECAUSE OF

MR. (BLEEP), MAN.

IT'S MR. (BLEEP) WAS MY ALGEBRA

TEACHER.

IT'S MR. (BLEEP)'S FAULT I'M NOT

EXPLORING THE MOON TODAY.

'CAUSE MR. (BLEEP)'S WOULD

ALWAYS ROLL HIS CHALK IN HIS

HAND WHEN HE WOULD TALK TO THE

CLASS.

THEN WHEN HE'D TURN AROUND

TO WRITE ON THE CHALKBOARD,

HE'D ALWAYS DISCREETLY SCRATCH

HIS BALLS.

AND HE WOULD ALWAYS TURN AROUND

WITH THESE BIG CHALK

FINGERPRINTS.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

RIGHT ON HIS NUT SACK, MAN.

I WAS ALWAYS FAR TOO BUSY

LAUGHING AT THE CHALK

FINGERPRINTS TO PAY ATTENTION

TO ANY OF THE MATH GOING ON.

TOM, WOULD YOU CARE TO TELL THE

CLASS WHAT X MEANS?

X MEANS IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO

SCRATCH YOUR BALLS AGAIN.

THAT'S ALL I KNOW.

WHEN AN X POPS UP, IT IS A

NUT SCRATCHIN' FESTIVAL AT

THE CHALKBOARD.

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