The Amazing Johnathan - All About Perfection

Season 1 , Ep 101 11/18/06 Views: 34,030

The Amazing Johnathan uses the power of the Magic Silk of India to repair a ripped $20 bill. (4:16)

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I KNOW, BUT IT'S NOT PERFECT. IT'S STILL RIPPED.

- AND IT'S ORANGEY. - [LAUGHTER]

AND THIS SHOWIS ALL ABOUT PERFECTION.

- [LAUGHTER] - THERE'S NO LAUGH THERE.

SO, WE USE TO FIX THAT,THE MAGIC SILK OF INDIA.

- [SILENCE] - DON'T PATRONIZE ME.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THIS CAN DO.

WHAT IF IT COULD KILL A LARGE GROUP OF ASS-[BLEEP]?

[LAUGHTER]

YOU, MA'AM, YOU LIKE BIRDS?

- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] - KEEPER!

YEAH, YOU! YEE-HA! YEAH, YOU LITTLE MOTHER-[BLEEP],

- YOU MOTHER, MOTHER-[BLEEP]! - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WE CAN MAKE IT ALIVE AGAIN.

- FIX THAT. - [LAUGHTER]

IT WAS SICK.THAT'S WHY I DID IT.

IT WAS! YOU SEE HOWPALE THAT THING WAS?

WHAT WERE WE DOING?OH, YOUR RIPPED TEN.BRING IT OVER.

TWENTY. TWENTY, WHATEVER.

COME OVER HERE NEXT TO ME WHERE IT'S SAFE AND WARM.

[LAUGHTER]

WATCH. WE PLACE THISUNDERNEATH THE MAGICSILK OF SWITZERLAND.

[LAUGHTER]

INDIA.

INDIA? YEAH, INDIA.YOU EVER BEEN THERE?

NO. THE MAGICAL CITY OF INDIA, I'VE BEEN THERE MANY TIMES.

THEY CALL IT,"THE LAND OF THE LAKES".

"THE WINDY CITY" OF INDIA.

WHERE THE MAGIC IS SO POWERFUL, IT CAN FIX YOUR RIPPED FIVE.

[LAUGHTER]

- [FLUTTERING NOISED] - [LAUGHTER]

SOMETIMES MAGIC SOUNDS LIKE TAPE.

IT ISN'T. IT'S THE POWER,

THE POWER OF INDIA.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

[COUGHING, RIPPING TAPE]

- YOU SON OF A-- [GRUNTING] - [LAUGHTER]

SOMEBODY COULD BE HELPING ME. I WONDER WHO THAT IS.

HOLD THAT UP SO I CAN-- BOTH SIDES CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.

- [LAUGHTER] - YEAH, OVER HERE, DOOGIE.

NOW, YOU EVER HELP A MAGICIAN BEFORE?NO.

THAT'S FUNNY, 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT HELPING ONE NOW EITHER.

[LAUGHTER]

HELLO, EVERYBODY OVER THERE IN I-CAN-SEE-HOW-DID-THAT LAND!

[LAUGHTER]

INDIA! INDIA! INDIA!

LAND OF THE BUCKTOOTHED SNAKE.

- [HISSING SOUND] - [LAUGHTER]

- [HISSING] - [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

SEE YOU WOULDN'T BE LAUGHINGIF THAT WE'RE REAL.NO DOUBT.

BUCKTOOTHED SNAKEBITE ON YOUR HAND. BYE!

[SNAKE BITING SOUND]"I CAN'T BREATHE!

I GOT BIT BY THE BUCKTOOTHED SNAKE!"

[BITING SOUND]

"HE BIT ME AGAIN!

"IS THAT-- IS THAT YOU?

[BITING SOUND]

HE'S RELENTLESS!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NOT ONLY ISYOUR SINGLE FIXED...

[LAUGHTER]

BUT NOW IT'S IN THIS NEAT LITTLE CARRYING-CASE!

IT'S YOU ON YOUR WAY TO INDIA.

IT'S ORIGAMI IT'S CALLED.

THAT'S YOURS.

NOW IF YOU WERE TO TAKE THE TAPE OFF OF THIS WHEN YOU GOT HOME AT NIGHT,

YOU'D BE SURPRISED TO FIND IT'S NO LONGER RIPPED.

YOU WOULD BE. YOU'D BE SURPRISED, WOULDN'T YOU?

I'D BE SHOCKED. I'D BE SHOCKED AS HELL! YEAH, ME TOO!

WE GOT A GIFTFOR YOU FOR THAT,TO MAKE UP FOR THAT.

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