Iliza Shlesinger - What People Think

  • Season 14 , Ep 18
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 33,946

Iliza Shlesinger would take three people in the audience liking her over free health insurance. (1:01)

I THINK THERE ARECERTAIN RULES IN LIFE

THAT WE BLINDLY FOLLOWAND NEVER QUESTION.

I WAS GETTING DRESSED THE OTHERDAY, AND I ASKED MY FRIEND --

I SAID, "WHAT DO YOU THINKOF THIS OUTFIT?"

AND HER RESPONSE WAS, "WHY DOYOU CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK?"

AND MY RESPONSE WAS,"I'M SORRY,

WHY DON'T YOU CAREWHAT PEOPLE THINK?"

IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGIN THE WORLD.

NEXT TO BRUSHING YOUR TEETH,

IT'S PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANTTHING IN THE WORLD.

I WOULD TAKETHESE THREE PEOPLE LIKING ME

OVER FREE HEALTH INSURANCEIN A HEARTBEAT.

WHAT'S THE POINTOF LIVING A LONG TIME

IF PEOPLE THINKYOU'RE AN [BLEEP]

NO POINT.

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE LASTTIME A GROUP OF PEOPLE SAID,

"SCREW IT,WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK"?

THEY GOT HUNG AS WITCHES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

ANOTHER ONE -- AND THIS ISTHE MOST IMPORTANT RULE.

IF I SAY ANYTHING YOU'RE GONNALISTEN TO TONIGHT,

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE.

YOU CAN TAKE THIS WITH YOUTHIS EVENING.

NEVER LAUGH AT YOURSIGNIFICANT OTHER...

...WHEN THEY'REHAVING AN ORGASM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT IS THEIR TIME TO SHINE.

LET THEM HAVE THAT.

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