Neal Brennan - Voted for Him

Neal Brennan Season 1, Ep 4 05/18/2012 Views: 7,297

Neal Brennan explains why Barack Obama is America's rebound boyfriend. (2:41)

Hey, where are we on Obama.We like him?

(loud cheering, applause,and whooping)Oh.

You voted for him, bro?You voted for him? Yeah.

Bro, you voted for him? Yeah.

Every brother I knowvoted for him.


Did brothers even needto punch the ballot?

Or you'd just walk inand be, like,

"All right, put me downfor my man. Thank you."


"Bitch, you knowwhat the (bleep) is, all right."


I like the dude,I voted for him, but...

I voted for him,but in some ways,

he's like America'srebound boyfriend.

(laughter)You know what I mean?

Like, we just want to be ableto call George Bush.

We'd be, like, "Yeah, we're withsomeone else now, George.

"And get this.He listens to us,

"and he doesn't just attackpeople for no reason.

And, oh, yeah, did I mention,he's black?" Click.

(laughter, cheeringand applause)

Yeah. You know,the other thing is,

he gets blamedfor a lot of stuff,

but I feel like 70% of the stuff

he gets blamed foris Bush's fault.


(applause, cheering,and whooping)


It's sad, 'cause it's justanother case

of a brother being at the wrongplace at the wrong time.


Getting accused of some stuffhe didn't do.

America's, like, "Freeze.

Put your handsagainst the White House."

It's, like, "It was George Bushand Dick Cheney.

They just (bleep) left."

(laughter and applause)

(loud cheering and whooping)

Yeah. And they-they...Sometimes they...

I followed the administrationpretty closely,

and they say, like, you know,

he's too insulatedagainst his critics.

Uh, and then... but he...

So he relies on Sashaand Malia and Michelle

to keep him humble, but you...

That might keep him humble,

but you know whatwould keep him really humble,

is if Sasha and Maliawere white.

'Cause they're, like,12 and 14.

They're sweet girls,but if they were white,

there's no one meaner on earth

than 12- and 14-year-oldwhite girls.

(laughter)They're, like, the meanestlittle bitches on the planet.


'Cause now he comes home,and he's, like,

"Sasha, Malia, study hard,get into a good school."

And they're, like, "Yes.Yes, Daddy. We love you."

But if they were white,he'd come home, he'd be, like,

"Sasha and Malia, study hard,get into a good college."

They'd be, like, "For what?You ruined the economy!

"There's not gonna be any jobswhen we get out, you jackass.

"We're going to Cancun.

"Hopefully,you won't wreck America

"while we're gone, dumbass.

"Oh, look, Sasha,it's Daddy's birth certificate.

Psych. You don't have one,foreigner."