Thank you very much forcoming out to-- I'm Jake.
And actually coming to"Two Drink Mon-- Minimum"?
Minimum-- um, the show thatbegs the question, how many
stand-up comedyshows does it take
before the market is saturated?
And really we believe one more.
Um, so, speakingof saturated, you
know where's a good placeto do some serious drinking?
Well, yeah, Congress, but Iwas thinking of airlines--
on the airplane, because twogood things about drinking
on the airplane areyou don't have to drive
and no matter howmuch you drink,
they can't throw you out.
Which I guess that's kindof true of Congress also.
But anyway-- Congress doesnot have those tiny bottles.
That's what you geton the airplane.
I love those tinybottles, you know?
I like to pretend thatthe bottles-- they're
regular-sized bottles, but Iam the Amazing Colossal Man,
I am a big manwith a big thirst.
Sometimes I like toput on a big diaper
and just ride on the-- yes,normal clothes do not fit me.
But what you don't want todo, though, on the plane
is so rent-- watch that movie.
They always get me.
I get-- I'm watching the movie.
I get all tied up in it.
And then they're aboutto tell the thing,
and the pilotinterrupts, you know.
And the murdereris-- [muffled voice]
[inaudible] About 72degrees in Chicago.
We're going to belanding on runway 29.
They have to tellyou the runway.
What run-- what-- I don'tneed to know the run--
I don't-- what is that?
Like, if the pilot is killed?
Who's going to land the plane?
I know what runway it is.
Don't let that man in thediaper land the plane.
Um, but the other thing--the other thing with those
movies is theyalways-- they dub them,
and the dub out the dirty words.
And they edit them down, whichyou don't miss the dirty words
in a lot of movies, but--I'm serious-- I saw the movie
"Glengarry Glen Ross"on the airplane.
You seen this movie?
It's like every otherword is-- you know?
And-- but they change it.
And you're watching the movie,and they're-- and they're all,
well, forget you.
Well, you can goforget yourself.
And the guy is like, well,that doesn't mean spit to me.
Why, if he doesn't likeit, he can kiss my act.
I mean, that's not evena thing-- kiss my act.
I halfway expect themto have "Full Metal
Jacket" on the plane, you know?
You ever see that movie?
Pyle, you're the kind of guythat'd forget a guy in his act
without giving thecourtesy of a reach around.