Louis C.K. - The Miracle of Flight

01/09/11 Views: 112,655

Louis C.K. marvels at how far technology has advanced and wonders how the Wright brothers would react to people complaining about air travel. (2:49)

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M NOT THAT OLD.

I'M 41, BUT I'M STILL AMAZEDAT THE SHIT IN MY LIFE.

I'M AMAZED AT THE SHIT INTHE WORLD.

I WAS ON A PLANE ONCE, LIKEABOUT A MONTH AGO,

AND THEY HAD HIGH-SPEED WIRELESSINTERNET ON THE PLANE.

AND THEY HAD NEVER DONETHAT BEFORE.

THEY EXPLAINED TO US THAT WEWERE, LIKE, ONE OF THE FIRST

AIRCRAFT.

AND I OPEN UP MY LAPTOP, ANDI'M ONLINE.

I'M LOOKING AT YOUTUBE AND SHITWHILE WE'RE FLYING.

AND THEN IT BROKE DOWN.

AND THE WOMAN SAYS, "I'M SORRY,BUT WE HAVE TO FIX THE INTERNET,

SO IT'S DOWN FOR THE REST OFTHE FLIGHT."

THE GUY NEXT TO ME GOES,"IT'S [bleep] BULLSHIT."

I'M LIKE, "DUDE, HOW DOES THEWORLD OWE YOU SOMETHING YOU

DIDN'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED 30SECONDS AGO?"

[laughter]PEOPLE ON PLANES ARE THE WORST.

PEOPLE ON PLANES, THEY COMPLAIN.

THEY GET OFF THE PLANE, THEYCOME TO YOUR HOUSE, AND THEY

TELL YOU ABOUT THEIR WHOLEFLIGHT EXPERIENCE.

AND THEY MAKE IT SOUND LIKE ITWAS, [bleep], A CATTLE CAR IN

POLAND IN THE '40s.

THEY JUST MAKE IT-- "THAT WASTHE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.

I HAD TO SIT ON THE RUNWAY FOR40 MINUTES."

THAT'S A STORY IN THIS COUNTRY.

THAT'S A [bleep] HARDSHIP,THAT YOU HAD TO SIT ON

THE RUNWAY.

PEOPLE WILL LISTEN TOTHAT STORY.

THEY'LL STOP DOING THE DISHESAND TURN AROUND AND GO,

"OH, MY GOD, REALLY?

FOR 40 MINUTES?

THAT'S AWFUL.

YOU SHOULD SUE THEM."

[laughter]"I HAD TO SIT ON THE RUNWAY FOR

40 MINUTES."

OH, MY GOD, REALLY?

WHAT HAPPENED THEN?

DID YOU FLY THROUGH THE AIRLIKE A BIRD, INCREDIBLY?

DID YOU SOAR INTO THE CLOUDS,IMPOSSIBLY?

DID YOU PARTAKE IN THE MIRACLEOF HUMAN FLIGHT AND THEN LAND

SOFTLY ON GIANT TIRES THAT YOUCOULDN'T EVEN CONCEIVE HOW THEY

[bleep] PUT AIR IN THEM?

[laughter]HOW DARE YOU?

BITCHING ABOUT FLYING!

"I HAD TO PAY FOR MY SANDWICH."

YOU'RE FLYING!

YOU'RE SITTING IN A CHAIRIN THE SKY.

YOU'RE LIKE A GREEK MYTHRIGHT NOW.

"BUT IT DOESN'T GO BACKVERY FAR, AND I WAS SORT OF

SQUISHING MY KNEES."

THE WRIGHT BROTHERS WOULD KICKUS ALL RIGHT IN THE [bleep] IF

THEY KNEW.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIMETO ORVILLE WRIGHT AND GO,

"HEY, DUDE, I HAD TO SIT ON THERUNWAY FOR 40 MINUTES."

AND HE'D BE LIKE, "OH, SHIT.

WELL, LET'S NOT EVENBOTHER THEN."

[laughter]

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