Women's Marches Go Global

January 23, 2017 - Matt Taibbi 01/23/2017 Views: 62,978

On the weekend of Donald Trump's inauguration, protesters march against the new administration, and White House spokespeople go on the defensive about crowd sizes. (7:32)

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it was a reallyjam-packed weekend,

so let's get rightto the big story this weekend.

REPORTER: Millions take to the streets

marching against the new commander in chief.

REPORTER 2: Huge rallies led by women in Washington

around the country and around the world.

REPORTER 3: On every continent, they turned out.

REPORTER 4: Three million people took part.

There was a point to the sea of pink hats.

What are these hats called?

Yeah.

No, no,you know what, no. No.

When a woman wears a pussy hatit's a political act,

but if I wear a penis hat

then I get thrown outof the Chuck E. Cheese.

No, that is not fair.

Goddamn PC police.It's not fair.

I mean, it was the actual police

and I was having hat sex witha, like, a mechanical mouse,

but that's not point.That's not the point.

Double standards.

So, anyway, the women's marchwas on Saturday.

Millions of womentook to the streets to protest

President Donald Trumpwith especially huge crowds

in Washington, D.C., New York,

Chicago and Los Angeles.

Although, to be fair,a lot of the L.A. marchers

were just therebecause they hoped

a casting directormight discover them.

That's it, they were like,"I hate Donald Trump."

"I... hate Donald Trump

"almost as muchas I hate my father.

Did I get it? Did I getthe part? Did I get it?"

Look, I-I don't blame them,but I did think it was

a little desperate that theirprotest signs were head shots.

I think that was over...over the top.

Just a little bit too much, L.A.

Now, uh, in a-in a testamentto how truly (bleep)

the rest of the world feelsby a Donald Trump presidency,

protesters took to the streetsin over 30 countries.

-(cheering, applause) -In Londonthere was a huge protest.

En Mexico, una protesta gigante.

In Deutschland, ein glaublich grosse protest

lederhosen schnitzel.

Oh, and this is true,this is true: they were even

protesting Trump in Antarctica.

In Antarctica, people. Yeah.

And... and nobody...nobody was happier about that

than the Antarctica Staples--

this was their busiest...

busiest timethey've ever had in years.

You know, thi-this, for me,

is the one silver liningof a Donald Trump presidency:

unity.Think about it.

He's pissed off so manydifferent people

that now everyoneis teaming up against him.

-(cheering, applause)-Yeah.

Everyone is coming together fromall different walks of life.

It's-it's almost like Independence Day,

but instead of the president,Trump's the alien.

That's what's happened.Everyone's like,

"All right, for now.We're friends for now.

Let's handle this."

Oh, and it turns out humansreally don't like aliens.

REPORTER: Some crowd experts telling the New York Times

there may have been as many as three times more people

at the women's march in Washington

than at Trump's inauguration.

-Wow.-(cheering, applause)

Wow.

That is insane.

Three times more people pitchedup to protest Donald Trump

than to celebrate him.

It's almost... it's almostas if he lost the popular vote.

And-and you knowthat got to Trump, right?

Because on the same afternoonthat the marches

were taking place,Donald Trump--

in his first outingas president--

went to formallyintroduce himself to the CIA.

And, obviously, there wereso many pressing matters

of national security to discuss.Uh, you know, he could have

discussed foreign espionage,uh, cyber security, terrorism,

uh, or, if you'rePresident Trump,

the most pressing issueof national security is...

We had a massive fieldof people, you saw them. Packed.

I get up this morning and Iturn on one of the networks

and they show an empty field.

I said, wait a minute,I made a speech.

I looked out. The field was...

It looked like a million,a million and a half people.

It went all the way backto the Washington Monument.

Why does it sound...

like Trump'sreading a fairy tale

to inigen...intelligence agents?

What is he...

telling them, a million people,

and the king's horses,they all came over the hill.

And they were running.

But Sleeping Beauty--she was asleep,

And they cameand they kissed her.

She didn't wake up.She didn't wake up.

So I grabbed her by the pussy.Then she woke up.

She woke up.

I don't know whythe dwarves didn't try.

I don't know why the dwarvesdidn't try.

But I did it.

Who is this man?

And-and just to make this clear,

that wall that he's speakingin front of,

that's the CIA's Memorial Wall.

Each one of those starsrepresents

an agent who diedin the line of duty.

For the CIA,that's hallowed ground,

and Trump is using itto pimp his popularity.

Like, is there any setting whereTrump won't brag about himself?

He's like, "This earthquakewas truly massive, folks.

"Truly massive.Almost as massive as the ratings

"for Celebrity Apprentice.

Really big earthquake, folks."

Oh, and, by the way, uh, to allour fans watching at the CIA,

uh, Trump didn't drawenough people

to make it all the way backto the Washington Monument.

Just... Now you know. Uh...

It's insane, actually,that Donald Trump would spend

the first 24 hoursof his presidency fighting

over somethingas inconsequential

as how big his crowd wasand how long it stretched.

-You know, I... And I would...-(laughter)

I would never suggest,I would never suggest

that the presidentof the United States sees

his inauguration crowdas some kind of metaphor

for his manhood. But-but the way

he and his defenders talkabout it,

it's almost unavoidable.

And, George, I would just sayabout crowd size,

um, first of all,there was rain,

the-the downpourthat was reported,

and I think it deterredmany people from coming.

So-so what you're saying is,

when a president's crowdis exposed to cold water,

there tendsto be some shrinkage.

REPORTER: Take a look at those pictures.

On the left, you've got the Obama inaugural crowd.

On the right, you've got the Trump inaugural crowd.

Which one is bigger?

Listen, that... you're-you'realso not-not saying

that that picture was takenbefore he was even speaking.

Oh, I understand.

Trump's crowd was a grower,not a shower.

I see. I see.

This was the first timein our nation's history

that floor coverings have beenused to protect the grass

in the mall. That had the effectof highlighting

any areas where peoplewere not standing,

while, in years past, the grasseliminated this visual.

The grass coverings. Of course.

What Trump's press secretaryis saying

is that, with some differentlandscaping choices,

the crowd would have appearednoticeably larger.

-I-I understand.-(cheering and applause)

Back when President Obamawas being inaugurated,

that was the firstAfrican-American president,

-so of course you're gonna geta bigger crowd. -Right.

-(laughter)-Yeah, well, I mean...

I mean,I know it's a stereotype,

but black presidents do tendto have bigger crowds.

(laughter, applause)

Tend to have bigger crowds.

Ha, ha, ha!

Look, man, Donald Trump,

you shouldn't be embarrassedby that, okay?

What should embarrassDonald Trump though

is that women all over the worldmarched together

to tell Trump how unsatisfiedhe's left them.