Jay Larson - Violence Awareness Day

Sommore, Larson, Caldwell, Smith, Mosey, Schultz, Wessling Season 1, Ep 1 08/31/2006 Views: 2,767

How does one celebrate Violence Awareness Day? (2:42)

sitting in my car,messing with the radio.

I got the hazards on.

You know, I'm messingwith the radio.

( laughter )

She liked that.

Messing with the radio,got the hazards on.

Door opens up, she gets in.

At least I think it's her.

I turn,and there's just some dude

sitting in my passenger's seat.

And I go, "Yeah, bro?"

And he goes, "Oh, my bad."

Gives me a fist bump,gets out of the car.

( laughter )

I drive a teal greenHonda Accord.

He went to the corner and gotinto a red Ford Explorer.

( laughter )


It's one of those situationsI could have back,

'cause I would have done itcompletely different.

Messing with the radio,guy gets in, door opens up.

"Huh? Huh?""Oh, my bad."

Gives a fist bump.

I would have gone,"You know what? It is your bad."

Grab him by the wrist,yanked him in.

I'm, like, "You're comingwith me right now.

"Two tickets, Gloria Estefan.

Miami Sound Machine.Revival tour, bro."

( laughter and applause )

"Rhythm's gonna get you.

What are you gonna doabout it?"

This week-- ViolenceAwareness Day, this week.

Anyone celebrating that?

I don't even knowwho knows about that day.

( laughter )

Does anyone, like,carry that out?

Like, come home.

"Yo, Tina, hey!

"I thought I told youto clean these pans, girl.

I would smack you if it wasn'tViolence Awareness Day."

( laughter )"You wait till 12:01.

You wait till 12:01."

It's crazy.

I understand it, but I...

I understandpeople think things,

but I just don't alwaysfollow them through.

You know what I mean? Like,sometimes I'll stand

in an intersection, and there'llbe, like, a guy next to me,

and I'll just think to myself,

"Does this guy have any ideaI could kill him right now?"

Any idea.( laughter )

Like, you walk by someone,like, loading their groceries

into the trunk of their car,and you're, like,

"Dude, could you make itany easier?

I'll slam it down, shove you,and I'm out."

( laughter )Wouldn't find that guy for days.

I don't follow it out,I just think about it.

( laughter )

That's why I'd be scaredto have kids in this...

You know what I mean,have kids in this world?

It's a... I hate when parentslet their kids run around.

You ever do that?

You're, like, having dinner,and a little kid comes up

to your table, and at first,

you're, like, "Hey, littlebuddy," and then

after a while, you're, like,"Get the hell out of here."

I hate that they just thinkthey can let their kids run.

This is what I would do,and I think we should all do.

Try this. Next time you seea little kid running around

like that, wait till the parentsaren't watching.

Wait till they're not watching.

Run up, grab the kid, and thenhide out of sight a little bit.

Not far, not far,just a little bit.

Wait till you see a little fearin their eyes.

Wait till you seea little fear in their eyes.

Then walk back over and go,"Here's your kid.

"Keep an eye on your kid.

"He almost got hit by a truck.I just saved his life."