Henry Phillips - Bad Date

  • Season 9 , Ep 23
  • 07/14/2005
  • Views: 4,824

This song is about a date that that went horribly awry. (2:41)

IN ORDER TO HAVE A GOOD TIME,

IT'S LIKE THEY NEED CIGARETTES

OR ALCOHOL OR SOMETHING LIKE

THAT AND I KNOW THAT.

I JOKE A LOT AND EVERYTHING

BUT FOR ME IT'S REALLY ABOUT

THREE THINGS IN LIFE AND THAT'S

JUST A GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT ARE

LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE AND

THIS HERE GUITAR AND A SPOON OF

SMACK AND, UH, YEAH.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT, UH, THIS IS A LITTLE SONG

THAT I WROTE ABOUT A DATE THAT

I HAD ONE TIME THAT JUST WENT

HORRIBLY AWRY AND I'M GONNA

SHARE IT WITH YOU.

♪ I REMEMBER

♪ THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU

♪ I WENT TO YOUR DOORSTEP

♪ AND RANG THE BELL

♪ YOUR PARENTS TOLD ME

♪ YOUR DOG'S NAME WAS HENRY

♪ AND I LAUGHED AND SAID

♪ HEY, THAT'S MY NAME AS WELL

♪ I REMEMBER YOUR FACE

♪ AS YOU CAME DOWN

♪ THE STAIRWAY

♪ WITH YOUR EBONY HAIR

♪ AND YOUR DEEP HAZEL EYES

♪ AT THE SIGHT OF YOUR BEAUTY

♪ I STARTED TO QUIVER

♪ AND I JUST COULDN'T THINK OF

♪ THE RIGHT THING TO SAY

♪ AND MY HAND STARTED SHAKING

♪ MY HEART PALPITATING

♪ MY PALMS STARTED SWEATING

♪ AND THEN I RAN OUT OF BREATH

♪ AND THEN I FELL ON THE FLOOR

♪ AND I STARTED TO VOMIT

♪ AND I LOST ALL CONTROL

♪ OF MY BODILY FUNCTIONS

♪ YOU WENT TO THE KITCHEN

♪ SO YOU COULD GET

♪ PAPER TOWELS

♪ TO CLEAN UP THE MESS

♪ I JUST MADE YOUR FLOOR

♪ BUT BY THAT TIME I'D ALREADY

♪ EMPTIED MY BOWELS

♪ AND JUST DIDN'T SEEM

♪ TO GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE

♪ SO I TOOK OFF MY PANTS

♪ AND STARTED

♪ HUMPING YOUR DOGGIE

♪ AND YOUR PARENTS THREATENED

♪ TO CALL THE POLICE

♪ SO I YANKED OUT THEIR

♪ PHONE CORD AND

♪ I CLOSED ALL THE CURTAINS

♪ AND SAID "DON'T MOVE

♪ OR NOBODY LEAVES HERE

♪ ALIVE

♪ SO HERE I AM IN THIS

♪ COLD LONELY JAIL CELL

♪ THINKING OF YOU AND ALL

♪ THE FUN THAT WE HAD

♪ YOU'RE PROBABLY LAUGHING

♪ ABOUT OUR WHOLE LITTLE

♪ MISUNDERSTANDING

♪ AND I JUST GET THAT SAME OL'

♪ FEELING AGAIN

♪ MY HANDS START TO SHAKE

♪ AND MY HEART STARTS TO BEAT

♪ AND MY PALMS START TO SWEAT

♪ AND THEN I RUN OUT OF BREATH

♪ AND I FALL ON THE FLOOR

♪ AND I START TO VOMIT

[LAUGHTER]

♪ AND I LOSE ALL CONTROL

♪ OF MY

♪ BODILY

♪ FUNCTIONS ♪

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

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