Toy Company

Season 2 , Ep 8 08/19/14 Views: 7,115

Nathan markets a toy to children by tapping into their desire to be big kids. (6:49)

AND OF ALL THE PRODUCTSHE'S INVENTED,

ONE STANDS OUT ASTHE ABSOLUTE WORST.

THE "DOINKIT" IS A STRANGE BALLTHAT DOESN'T DO MUCH.

AND, UNFORTUNATELY FOR MARK,IT HASN'T BEEN

THE BIGGEST SELLER, EITHER.

- IT'S NOT ALL FUN--IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES--

UNTIL NOBODY BUYS YOUR TOYS.[laughs]

- BUT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,THE QUALITY OF THE TOY

SHOULDN'T MATTER,WHEN YOU'RE SELLING TO KIDS.

SO I PAID MARK A VISIT,WITH A WAY TO GET

THOSE DOINKITS SOLD.

WHEN YOU'RE A KID,WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU WANT,

MORE THAN ANYTHING?

- POWER.

- NO.TO NOT BE SEEN AS A BABY.

IT'S VERY EASYTO MARKET TO KIDS,

BECAUSE THEIR BRAINSARE SO SMALL.

SO RATHER THAN SELLING A BALL,MARK SHOULD BE SELLING

AN IDENTITY FOR CHILDREN.THAT IDENTITY?

THAT OWNING A DOINKITIS THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE

YOU'RE NOT A BABY.

- NO. [laughs] NO.

- THIS IS MARKETING 101.

- A--ACCORDING TO YOU.

- WELL, THAT'S WHATSELLS PRODUCTS.

- FANTASTIC! FANTASTIC.I AM SO EXCITED.

- AM I SENSING SOME SARCASM?

- YES.

- MARK WASN'T CONVINCED,AND SAID THERE WAS ONLY

ONE THING THAT COULDWIN HIM OVER.

- CASH. MONEY.

- I NEEDED TO SHOWTHAT THIS WOULD BE PROFITABLE.

SO LATER THAT WEEK,I ARRANGED A FOCUS GROUP

TO SEE IF MY MARKETING APPROACHWOULD WORK WITH ACTUAL CHILDREN.

WHEN I SHOW THIS TO YOU,WHAT DO YOU THINK?

DO YOU WANT IT?- NOPE.

- NAH.- NO.

- WHY?

- DUMB.- IT'S DUMB?

- YEAH.

- OKAY, UH, HOLD ON A SECOND,GUYS.

I JUST GOT A CALL.

HELLO?

OH, YES SIR.REALLY?

OH MY GOD, YEAH,I'LL LET THEM KNOW.

SORRY, GUYS.THAT WAS THE PRESIDENT CALLING.

AND HE JUST TOLD METHAT OWNING THIS TOY

IS NOW THE ONLY PROOFYOU'RE NOT A BABY.

WELL, I MEAN, I HAVE ONE.

SO THAT'S GOOD.ARE YOU GUYS BABIES? OR...

- NOPE.- NAH.

- WELL YOU DON'T HAVE THE TOY,SO YOU MUST BE A BABY.

UNLESS YOU HAVE IT,THEN YOU'RE NOT.

OH, OKAY, SO NOW...YOU TWO AREN'T BABIES,

BUT ARE YOU A BABY?

ARE YOU A BABY?- NO.

- WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE THE TOY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT KIDSTHAT DON'T HAVE THE TOY?

- MM, SAD.- WEIRD.

- SAD?- WEIRD.

- WHY?- BECAUSE THEY'RE A BABY.

- THE STRATEGY WORKEDEVEN BETTER THAN I HAD HOPED.

SO I REBRANDEDTHE TOY'S PACKAGING

AND BROUGHT IT TO MARK,TO SEE WHAT HE THOUGHT.

- IT'S HORRIBLE.

- I MEAN, WHAT SPECIFICALLY?

- UH, KID IN A DIAPER?WITH, UM,

CHILDREN POINTING AT HIM?

IF THIS IS THE BEST YOU'VE GOT,YOU'RE AWFUL.

- I MEAN,I'M PUTTING A LOT OF EFFORT

AND RESOURCES INTOTRYING TO SELL...

- WELL YOU'RE NOT...- IT'S LESS--

- YOU'RE NOT GOODAT WHAT YOU DO.

- UM, YOU'RE NOT GOODAT WHAT YOU DO.

- WORKING WITH MARKWAS ABOUT AS MUCH FUN

AS PLAYING WITH HIS TOYS.

BUT I WAS CONVINCEDI COULD WIN HIM OVER

IF I SHOWED HIM RESULTS.

SO I WROTE AND SHOTA PROFESSIONAL TV COMMERCIAL

FOR THE DOINKIT,THAT WAS GUARANTEED

TO GET KIDS TO BUY IT.

- IF YOU ARE BETWEEN THE AGESOF THREE AND EIGHT,

PLEASE LISTEN CLOSELY.

OWNING A DOINKITIS NOW THE ONLY PROOF

THAT YOU ARE NOT A BABY.

[baby crying]- IF YOU DON'T HAVE THIS TOY,

PEOPLE WILL THINKYOU WEAR DIAPERS,

AND CRY ALL THE TIME.[babies crying]

EVERYBODY WILL THINKYOU SLEEP IN A CRIB,

AND DRINK FROM A BOTTLE,IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE OF THESE.

[children taunting]

AND WHENEVER YOU SPEAK,ALL PEOPLE WILL HEAR IS,

"GOO GOO, GA GA."[babies crying]

SO TELL YOUR MOM OR DADTO BUY YOU A DOINKIT.

BECAUSE OTHERWISE,AS FAR AS ANYONE'S CONCERNED,

YOU'RE A BABY.

OH, IT CAN ALSO BE USEDAS A TOY BALL.

- CUT. [claps]NICE.

IT WAS PERFECT.

BUT WHEN I TRIED TO BUY AD TIMEON A LOCAL STATION,

- YOU'RE LYING TO THE KIDS,AND SAYING THAT THEY'RE A BABY

IF THEY DON'T HAVE THIS TOY.

- THEY SAID A COMMERCIAL LIKETHIS WOULD NEVER MAKE IT ON TV.

AND THAT MEANT,I NEEDED A NEW APPROACH.

SO I CONVINCED A LOCAL TOY STORETO CARRY THE DOINKIT,

BY OFFERING TO PROVIDE THEMWITH A SANTA, FREE OF CHARGE,

FOR THE APPROACHINGHOLIDAY SEASON.

BUT WHAT THEY DIDN'T KNOW,IS THAT SANTA WAS MY OLD PAL,

JAMES BAILEY,WHO I COULD TRUST TO MAKE SURE

THAT EVERY KID WOULD BE ASKINGFOR A DOINKIT FOR CHRISTMAS.

AND WITH JAMES IN PLACE...- SANTA!

- IT WAS TIME TO SELLSOME DOINKITS.

- DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'D LIKETO HAVE FOR CHRISTMAS?

- UM, I WOULD REALLY WANTAN EVER AFTER HIGH DOLL.

- WHY? THAT--THAT--THAT TELLS METHAT YOU MUST BE A BABY.

ARE YOU A BABY?- NO.

- SEE ALL THESE PEOPLEMAKING FUN OF THE BOY?

SO, WE DON'T WANT PEOPLETO THINK THAT YOU'RE A BABY

AND THE ONLY WAYYOU CAN PROVE THAT,

IS IF YOU HAVE A DOINKIT TOY.- OKAY.

- THE PLAN WAS WORKING GREAT.

- I NEED THIS, SO...- YOU'RE GONNA GET THIS?

- ONE OF THE GIRLS THAT--AT MY SCHOOL, SHE'S MEAN TO ME.

- SHE'S MEAN TO YOU?OH, THAT'S NOT GOOD.

I WONDER IF THAT'S BECAUSESHE MIGHT THINK YOU'RE A BABY,

BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVEA DOINKIT.

[beep]

WELL, THAT MUST MEANYOU WEAR DIAPERS.

- NO, I DON'T WEAR DIAPERSANYMORE.

'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA BE A BABY,I SAID!

[beep, beep]

- JUST DOESN'T SEEMLIKE SOMETHING SANTA SHOULD

BE SAYING, THAT KIDSARE GONNA LOOK LIKE BABIES.

- WELL THAT'S,THAT'S YOUR OPINION.

- DESPITE A COUPLEUPTIGHT PARENTS,

THE DOINKIT WASTHE TOP-SELLING TOY OF THE DAY.

BUT WHEN I WENT BACK TO MARKWITH THE GOOD NEWS,

HE STILL DIDN'T GET IT.

- THAT WAS HORRIBLE ADVICEAND AWFUL GRAPHICS,

TERRIBLE DESIGN...- NO, BUT IT DID WORK.

- UNPROFESSIONAL...- OKAY.

- YOU NEVER PROVEDTHAT IT WORKED.

- WE DID GET SALES.

IN LIFE, NOT EVERYONEWILL SEE YOUR VISION.

BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO ALWAYSTAKE THE HIGH ROAD.

AND SOMETIMES THE BEST WAYTO BRIGHTEN SPIRITS,

IS WITH A GIFT.

- [laughs]

- THIS IS YOU.

BUT THE BIGGESTDIFFERENCE BETWEEN

ME AND MARK,IS THAT WHEN I PLAY WITH TOYS,

I WIN.- "HI, I'M MARKY.

I'M AN IDIOT BUSINESS MANWITH A SMALL DICK.

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCHI HURT OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.

AND I'M THE LAUGHINGSTOCKOF MY INDUSTRY."

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