-Hey, I'm Kurt Metzger withComedy Central's Jokes.com.
And I'm sitting herewith my old buddy, Aziz
An sari, that Ihaven't seen for years.
Since he became very--
Actually, I just interviewedKevin Hart on this very couch.
And this is now the officialcouch where I interview guys
I started with that are way moresuccessful and shorter than me
So congratulations on that.
So, first tell me about you'reshow you're doing tonight.
What's the title of it?
What do you get into?
-Right now I'mdoing a tour called
the "DangerouslyDelicious Tour."
And tonight is the New Yorkstop at the Beacon Theater
-Well, let me tellyou something,
your dangerously delicious.
I never noticed itbefore this interview.
Let me ask you this.
Especially, would you say, dude,as an Indian comic, because you
probably get a lot of likeIndian heat for that, right?
Like Russell Peters-level--likeare you going to have to fight
him like the Highlanderat some point?
Or is all good?
-Right now we'vescheduled a date for me
to fight RussellPeters to the death,
because there canonly be one touring
Indian comedian atany given point.
So we'll see how it goes.
You know, it's a bummer, becauseI'm sure there's some people
that are fans ofRussell that hate me.
And if I win, theywill not be able to see
him perform anymore.
-And they're going tohave to, by default,
become your fan because you'rethe remaining Indian guy.
-Yeah, but whatpeople don't know
is if you're aminority you can only
go see comediansof that minority.
So Asian people canonly go see Steve Byrne.
You know, if you're a blackcomic there's like Kevin Hart,
Chris Rock, that'spretty much it.
And then if you'reIndian, it's just
you can only go to meand Russell Peters.
But right now we'retrying to basically
close the market share.
-Well, I'm rooting foryou, dude, because, one,
I remember you fromthe Comic Strip.
And two, he's Canadian, dude.
I'm with my AmericanIndian comic, understand?
-That's a loophole that'sallowed both of us to work,
but there's some stuffthat's come up in the courts,
and they're like eventhough he's a Canadian,
we can only still have oneIndian American touring.
-You've been inso far every movie
that I've seen in the last--
-For like two minutes.
I have like a rulewhere they're like,
"Hey, want you tobe this movie."
I'm like, "Well, as long as Ican say three things and leave,
I'm fine with that."
-I would be like,"Put in the movie
until it getspainful for people."
That's the problem.
People go in.
They're like,"Hey, canyou put me in the movie?
Can I be the star the movie?"
And they're like, "No."
And then I come inand go, "Hey, can I
be the star of the movie?"And they're like, "No."
I'm like, "What if Ijust come in for a minute
and just say something about my[bleep] and then I'll leave?"
And they're like, "OK, do that."
-Where'd you come up withthat Randy guy, dude?
Is that your character, theguy you played in Funny People?
-Yes, that's the characterI played in Funny People.
I don't know.
It wasn't really inspiredby one specific comedian.
I think when you're acomic and you do clubs,
there's always like-- you alwayssee comedians that audiences
love that the othercomedians hate.
It's like, "Oh my god, thatguys really doing that?
He's doing that thing?"
And so I just wantedto do that comedian.
-They're very proud afterward.
That's what I like isthe cockiness afterward.
That's the greatpart of that there.
-They just don't see anythingwrong with it, like "Yeah, I
[bleep] the stoolfor two minutes."
-The people thathave never bombed
are literally the worst comicsI have ever seen in the world.
-They're the Randysof the world.
Yeah they're the Randysof the world that just
resort to the lowest of the low.
But it's really interesting,because like if I come out
as Aziz in front of anaudience at a club where they
maybe don't know me or whatever.
If you come on, "Hey,what's up everybody?"
And people are like,"All right, let
me see if I'm onboard with this."
But if you come out as Randyand you're like, "What's up?
Who's ready to laughtheir [bleep] off?"
People are like, "Yeah, I am!"
-Aziz Ansari, my old buddy.
Doing a show tonight.
Keep an eye out.
I guess he's going to, I meanhe's going to be on everything
for two minutes,that's the bottom line.
Aziz Ansari, thankyou very much.
Kurt Metzger at Jokes.com.
More to come.