Gregg Rogell - Thanksgiving Day Parade

  • Season 7, Ep 24
  • 07/31/2003
  • Views: 16,626

Why have a Thanksgiving parade in a city full of people from other countries? (2:25)

Gregg Rogell: MY FAVORITE

TIME OF YEAR IS BETWEEN

THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS.

I LOVE THAT TIME.

I DON'T KNOW WHY WE HAVE

THE MACY'S DAY PARADE HERE

IN NEW YORK ON THANKSGIVING.

NEW YORK IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE

FROM OTHER COUNTRIES WHO HAVE

NO IDEA WHAT WE'RE CELEBRATING.

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT DOES SOME JAPANESE TOURIST

THINK WHEN HE SEES A BIG BARNEY

FLOATING DOWN 6th AVENUE.

IT'S GOTTA BE UNSETTLING

FOR THE POOR GUY.

"GODZILLA!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"GODZILLA?"

"GODZILLA."

[LAUGHTER]

CHRISTMAS, THAT'S MY FAVORITE

HOLIDAY.

IT'S IRONIC 'CAUSE I'M A JEW.

[LAUGHTER]

JEWS LIKE CHRISTMAS.

WE COME OUT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THAT'S ONE OF OUR FAVORITE DAYS.

WE GO OUT.

YOU CHRISTIANS DON'T KNOW

ABOUT IT.

YOU'RE INSIDE UNWRAPPING GIFTS.

WE OWN THIS CITY ON CHRISTMAS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WE COME OUT LIKE THE MUNCHKINS

IN THE WIZARD OF OZ

WHEN THE WITCH KICKS.

WE'RE HIDING BEHIND TREES.

"ARE THE CHRISTIANS GONE?"

"THEY'RE GONE.

COME ON."

HE-HE-HE-HE-HE!"

[LAUGHTER]

WE HAVE A PARADE DOWN BROADWAY.

YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN KNOW

ABOUT IT.

YEAH, IT STARTS IN THE

DIAMOND DISTRICT, ENDS AT A

CHINESE RESTAURANT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

JEWS DON'T BELIEVE IN SANTA,

YOU KNOW.

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID,

MY PARENTS TOLD ME STRAIGHT OUT

AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS

SANTA CLAUS.

YOU SEE A FAT MAN IN A RED SUIT

COME DOWN THAT CHIMNEY, YOU BLOW

HIS (BLEEP) DAMN HEAD OFF.

[LAUGHTER]

THE GUN'S NEXT TO THE COOKIES.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

JEWS AND CHRISTIANS ARE

DIFFERENT.

CHRISTIANS SPREAD THE WORD.

SOME USE BUMPER STICKERS.

"JESUS IS KING."

"THE LORD SAVES."

JEWS DON'T DO THAT.

YOU NEVER SEE A REALLY NICE CAR

IN GREAT NECK WITH "HONK IF YOU

LOVE MOSES" ON THE BACK OF IT.

[LAUGHTER]

DOES THAT WORK CONVERTING

SOMEBODY WITH A BUMPER STICKER?

HOW WEAK OF A MIND DO YOU

HAVE TO HAVE?

[LAUGHTER]

"JESUS IS KING"?

OH.

[LAUGHTER]

GUESS I WON'T BE NEEDING THIS

ANYMORE.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I WAS ON MY WAY TO TEMPLE.

THANK GOD THAT WINNEBAGO

CUT ME OFF."

[LAUGHTER]

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