The Colbert Report

Miss Manners

Season 2 • 03/23/2006

Stephen explains to Judith Martin how having a TV show allows one to be rude.

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00:09

Sign Off - Thank You, America
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen wants to thank America for watching -- not the viewers at home, but the government.
03/22/2006
01:23

Advice for Jennifer Anniston
The Colbert ReportS2

Jennifer Aniston is moving from Hollywood to Chicago, and Stephen has some advice for her: head to the Wiener's Circle at Clark and Wrightwood and get a francheesy.
03/22/2006
07:09

Better Know a District - California's 27th - Brad Sherman
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen's interview with Representative Brad Sherman, whose district contains a large portion of the porn industry, is interrupted by a pizza delivery guy.
03/22/2006
05:35

The Word - I Am the Great and Powerful Oz
The Colbert ReportS2

By firing teachers who claimed to have credentials they didn't earn, Miami schools are sending their students the wrong message -- don't get caught.
03/22/2006
00:34

Intro - 3/22/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight: Florida teachers take a break from having sex with their students, Stephen explores California's fightin' 27th and the Iraqis are really using their newly-built hospitals.
03/22/2006
01:47

Sign Off - The Reason for the Hearth
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen knits a scarf for America by the fireside and offers a few words on the meaning of the hearth.
03/23/2006
03:58

Home, Hearth, Heart and Heartland - This Land Is Your Land
The Colbert ReportS2

American values are going right down the toilet -- and not one of those modern, low-flow, sissy toilets, either.
03/23/2006
00:28

Intro - 3/23/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight: Stephen celebrates American values, teaches the White House Press Corps some manners and learns how John Kasich dares call himself Bill O'Reilly's replacement.
03/23/2006
03:38

Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Raise a Hero
The Colbert ReportS2

For parents who want to raise heroes, Stephen has sound advice: men, never cry in front of your kids; women, stay home and home-school the children.
03/23/2006
06:10

John Kasich
The Colbert ReportS2

John Kasich, host of "The Heartland with John Kasich" on FOX News, lists honesty, integrity, personal responsibility and humility among the best of America's traditional values.
03/23/2006
03:44

Miss Manners
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen explains to Miss Manners, Judith Martin, how rudeness is acceptable once you get yourself a TV show.
03/23/2006
00:33

Intro - 3/27/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Time Magazine implies that the Iraq war isn't worth the cost. A Ferrari isn't worth the cost, but it gets you laid.
03/27/2006
01:05

Off the Market
The Colbert ReportS2

The demand for Stephen Colbert's Formula 401 has been overwhelming.
03/27/2006
01:10

Letter to the Judge
The Colbert ReportS2

If you do go to prison, punch somebody in the face the minute you get there -- that way all the other inmates will think you're loco.
03/27/2006
06:32

Gary Hart
The Colbert ReportS2

Gary Hart shows Stephen how to make an attack dog out of duct tape.
03/27/2006
00:07

Fract - Bald Eagle
The Colbert ReportS2

The American bald eagle is actually not bald.
03/27/2006
01:33

Exercise Routine
The Colbert ReportS2

For years, America's first ladies have been working to perfect a secret exercise routine that allows them to remain demure, non-threatening, and demure and non-threatening.
03/27/2006
02:23

The Word - Tense
The Colbert ReportS2

Questioning a war while it's still being fought gives comfort to our enemies and undermines our troops.
03/27/2006
00:08

Sign Off - Tomorrow's Guest
The Colbert ReportS2

Tomorrow night's guest will be former FEMA Director Michael Brown.
03/27/2006
02:08

Immigration Protests
The Colbert ReportS2

Illegal immigrants protest common sense changes to immigration law, such as building a 700-mile fence along the border and barring churches from giving out food.
03/27/2006
04:19

ThreatDown - Drug Candy
The Colbert ReportS2

These drug dealers are a threat to more than just our children; they're a threat to our nation's advertisers.
03/27/2006
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