Adele Givens - $16,000 Watch

  • Season 6 , Ep 6
  • 05/26/2002
  • Views: 5,930

Adele knows how to get the time without spending a nickel. (3:40)

THIS DESIGNER THING, 'CAUSE NOW

MEN ARE INTO DESIGNER CLOTHES.

MEN DIDN'T EVEN USE TO CARE

ABOUT HOW THEY LOOKED AND

DRESSED.

BUT NOW, FROM THE WESTSIDE

OF CHICAGO, WHERE I'M FROM,

A LOT OF GUYS WEAR ALLIGATOR

SHOES.

WHICH I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH.

I DIDN'T UNTIL I PRICED SOME OF

THESE SHOES.

I PRICED A PAIR OF ALLIGATOR

SHOES AT $2,000.

THAT'S A $1,000 A FOOT.

$200 A TOE, ADD IT UP.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

IF YOU MISSING A TOE OR TWO,

SUBTRACT WHERE NECESSARY.

BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS FAIR

'CAUSE I KNOW SOME OF THESE

BROTHERS.

AND I KNOW THEY CHILDREN.

AND IT JUST AIN'T FAIR.

YOU KIDS LOOK THIRSTY AND YOU

WALKING AROUND WITH ALLIGATORS

$2,000 SHOES.

IT AIN'T FAIR.

I COULDN'T DO IT 'CAUSE I GOT

RULES FOR MY MONEY.

I WOULD NOT BUY A PAIR OF $2,000

SHOES.

MY RULE IS IF I GOT ON A PAIR OF

$2,000 SHOES; I BETTER NOT STEP

IN NO DOG DOO DOO.

IF I'M WEARING SOME $2,000 SHOES

AND I'M WALKING TOWARDS SOME DOG

DOO DOO, THOSE SHOES BETTER

TURN MY ASS AROUND...

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

AND TAKE ME IN ANOTHER DAMN

DIRECTION.

(APPLAUSE CONTINUES)

AND I FOUND OUT SINCE I'VE BEEN

IN ENTERTAINMENT, THE MORE MONEY

YOU MAKE THE MORE THEY WASTE.

THAT'S RIGHT 'CAUSE MY FRIENDS

LOVE ROLEX WATCHES.

OH, THEY LOVE 'EM.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A ROLEX

WAS.

I COME FROM THE WESTSIDE

OF CHICAGO, PO' BROKE.

I KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS.

TIME TO EAT.

I'M HUNGRY.

I'M TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT

THE TIME.

WE BROKE AROUND HERE.

MY FRIEND COME SHOWING ME

HIS WATCH.

HE SAID, "LOOK AT THIS WATCH."

I SAID, "OH, THAT SO CUTE."

HE SAID, "CUTE, WHAT YOU MEAN

CUTE?

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS DAMN

WATCH COSTS?"

I'M LIKE, "NO, I CAN'T SAY

AS I DO."

HE SAID "$16,000."

I SAID, "YOU'VE BEEN SIPPING ON

SOME SIZZURP?

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT THE HELL MADE YOU PAY

$16,000 FOR A WATCH?"

AND YOU KNOW HE TRIED TO JUSTIFY

THIS PURCHASE.

HE TRIED TELLING ME, "SEE,

THIS IS A ROLEX.

LOOK AT THE SECOND HAND.

SEE, THE SECOND HAND ON A ROLEX,

IT GLIDES.

BUT THE SECOND HAND ON A REGULAR

WATCH IT JERKS."

I SAID, "THAT'S ALL YOU GOT?

$16,000 AND ALL YOU CAN TELL ME

IS THE SECOND HAND GLIDES?

DON'T YOU KNOW, THAT FOR $16,000

THE SECOND HAND OUGHTA ACT LIKE

A DAMN SECOND HAND?

FOR $16,000 THAT HAND OUGHTA

JUMP OFF THE WATCH AND GIVE YOU

HIGH FIVE WHEN YOUR TEAM MAKE

THE DAMN BASKET."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

SIXTEEN.

FOR $16,000, IF YOUR WOMAN

IS MAD AT YOU AND YOU THINK

IT'S GOING TO BE A HARD NIGHT...

THAT SECOND HAND SHOULD JUMP OFF

GRAB THE LOTION AND TELL YOU,

"YOU GONNA BE ALL RIGHT TONIGHT,

FOR $16,000."

(APPLAUSE)

SO, I ENDED UP CALLING HIM

AN IGNORANT BASTARD.

AND WE GOT INTO IT.

HE SAID, "HOW COME A BROTHER

GOT TO BE AN IGNORANT BASTARD

EVERY TIME HE TRY TO LOOK GOOD?"

I SAID, "NO, YOU

MISUNDERSTANDING.

I'M NOT CALLING YOU IGNORANT

'CAUSE YOU LIKE TO LOOK GOOD.

YOU SAID YOU PAID $16,000

FOR THAT WATCH.

STAND YOUR IGNORANT ASS

RIGHT HERE AND WATCH ME.

EXCUSE ME, BROTHER, CAN YOU

TELL ME WHAT TIME YOU HAVE?"

AUDIENCE MEMBER>> IT'S 10:35.

ADELE GIVENS>> 10:35.

IT DIDN'T COST ME A DAMN NICKEL.

THAT WOULD BE WHY YOU AN

IGNORANT BASTARD.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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