Matt Goldich - Wet Willie

Jones, Goldich, Ernst, Miyamoto Season 9, Ep 906 01/27/2006 Views: 2,072

Matt Goldich gets a wet willie. (1:15)

SOMEBODY TRIED TO GIVE ME A WET WILLY EARLIER TODAY.

YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT THAT IS?

IT'S WHEN SOMEBODY SUCKS ON THEIR FINGER

AND THEN THEY TRY TO STICK IT IN YOUR EAR.

YEAH. GOTTA SAY I NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD A FORM OF TORTURE

THAT'S JUST AS DISGUSTING FOR THE PERSON ADMINISTERING IT

AS IT IS FOR THE PERSONRECEIVING IT, YOU KNOW.

IT'S ALMOST IF I WAS LIKE, "HEY, YOU JERK.

"I'M GONNA STICK MY HEAD IN THE TOILET

AND THEN SHAKE IT ALL OVER YOU. THAT'LL SHOW YOU."

I GUESS I HADN'T REALLYTHOUGHT THAT THROUGH.

PEOPLE ASK ME, HOW LONG YOU BEEN DOING COMEDY?

AND I THINK FOR ME, IT STARTEDWHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID.

I REMEMBER ONCE IN GYM CLASS, WE WERE PLAYING RED ROVER.

YOU GUYS REMEMBER THE GAME? SOMEBODY WOULD SAY,

"RED ROVER, RED ROVER, ALL THE BLUES COME OVER."

AND THEN EVERYBODY WEARING BLUE

WOULD HAVE TO RUN FROM ONE ENDOF THE GYM TO THE OTHER.

SO, IT WAS MY TURN TO MAKE THE CALL.

THOUGHT I'D MAKE A LITTLE JOKE. AND I SAID,

"RED ROVER, RED ROVER,ALL THE JEWS COME OVER."

THAT WAS NOT SUCH A BIG HIT WITH THE GYM TEACHER,

ESPECIALLY WHEN THE 12 MOST UN-ATHLETIC KIDS IN THE CLASS

ALL STARTED RUNNING FROMONE END OF THE GYM TO THE OTHER.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND WE ALLTRIPPED OVER EACH OTHER

AND GOT NOSEBLEEDS. THOSE WERE NOT GOOD TIMES.

WE HAD A LOT OFASSEMBLIES AT MY SCHOOL.