Mary Lynn Rajskub - Lower Region

  • Season 1, Ep 2
  • 01/15/2010
  • Views: 8,715

Keep it neat, trim, clean and call it a day, because you need the protection there. (2:35)

"GO DOWN THERE,SHAVE IT BALD LIKE DADDY LIKES,

AND GET READY TO MAKE SOME--"

(laughter)OH.

I'M SORRY.THAT WAS WEIRD.

(laughter)

I JUST--I WAS JUST CHANNELING THIS STUFF

I HEARDTHIS GUY SAYING.

WELL, I USED TO DATE HIM,BUT I JUST--

I WANTED TO RELATETO YOU GUYS,

AND I THOUGHTTHAT THAT WOULD DO THE TRICK.

BUT I-I DON'T BELIEVE IN THATAT ALL.

I DON'T THINK IT--

I THINK THAT LOOKS LIKEA LITTLE GIRL WHEN YOU--(laughter)

PLUS, I'M FROM MICHIGAN,AND WE'RE-WE'RE--(woman) YEAH!

AND WE DON'T DO THAT,YOU KNOW?

NOBODY TALKED ABOUT ITFOR ONE THING.

KEEP IT NEAT,TRIM, CLEAN,

AND CALL IT A DAY,YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE YOU NEEDTHE PROTECTION THERE.

IT'S LIKE THE EYEBROWOF THE LOWER REGION.

(laughter)

I'M NOT SAYINGI DON'T WANNA BE HOT, YOU GUYS.

DON'T GET ME WRONG, I DO.

I WANT GUYS TO LOOK AT MEAND BE LIKE,

"OH, I JUST WANNA GRABA PIECE OF THAT AND... IN."

I MEAN, THAT--

I'VE ACTED ALLTHESE YEARS LIKE I'M COOL

WITH BEING, YOU KNOW,UH, QUIRKY AND INTERESTING,

BUT I WANNA BE,"OH, YEAH!"(laughter)

AND SOMEBODY WHO, UH, EPITOMI--YOU KNOW,

LIKE YOU'RE IN A SPORTS BAR,

LIKE, "LET ME GET THAT BIG BALLIN THE HOLE.

I LOVE TO PLAY POOL.DARTS? LET'S DO IT."

EXCEPT FOR WHEN I GET MY DARTSOFF THE BOARD,

I WANNA DO IT LIKE THIS.

(laughter)

"WHAT?

"WAS THAT SEXY?

"I DON'T KNOWWHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.(laughter)

(murmurs sultrily)

(laughter)

BUT THE PINNACLE OF BEING HOT,FOR ME, WOULD BE FERGIE HOT,

YOU KNOW?

OH, SHE'S THE GREATEST.

SHE HAS THAT LIP LINER,THAT BEDAZZLED HALF SHIRT,

THE TIGHT, TIGHT PANTS,AND SHE'S LIKE, "MY HUMPS!"

AND THAT HAIR THAT LOOKS LIKEA BARBIE DOLL FROM THE '70s,

YOU COULD JUST KEEP PULLING OUT.

JUST, LIKE, SLAM HER."GIMME THAT HAIR!"(laughter)

BUT I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYSEVER SAW THAT PICTURE OF HER

ON THE INTERNET, THOUGH.

(man) WOOH!

RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW-- IT WASIN THE MIDDLE OF A CONCERT.

IT WAS LIKE AN EXCITING MOMENT,AND SHE'S LIKE,

♪ LIKE A CHILDMISSES HER BLANKET ♪

AND SHE JUST PISSES HER P--(laughter)

WHAT HAPPENED?(laughter)

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO--"I'M FERGIE, EXCUSE ME,

I'M GONNA LEAVEAND GO TO THE BATHROOM."

NO, JUST PISSED IT.

IT WAS JUST THE GREATEST THINGI'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

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