Jeff Cesario - Boxing

  • Season 9 , Ep 8
  • 03/24/2005
  • Views: 3,519

Jeff loves old geezer sports announcers. (2:05)

Jeff Cesario: MAN, I LOVE

WATCHING SPORTS ON TV.

THAT IS LIKE MY FAVORITE.

I LOVE BOXING.

BOXING FANS HERE?

YEAH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND I DON'T LIKE THE VEGAS

FIGHTS.

THEY'RE TOO SHOWBIZ.

I LIKE THE REAL FIGHTS.

LIKE CHANNEL 291, 3:30 AM

AND IT'S LIVE.

[LAUGHTER]

JUST SOME GUYS BEATING THE TAR

OUT OF EACH OTHER.

I LOVE THOSE.

'CAUSE YOU CAN TELL THEY HAVE

SOMETHING AT STAKE.

THEY HAVE LIKE RENT DUE

TOMORROW.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

OH, I LOVE THAT.

PLUS THEY FARM OUT THE OLD

GEEZER ANNOUNCERS TO THOSE

FIGHTS.

LIKE THE 90 YEAR OLD SPORTS

ANNOUNCERS.

I LOVE THOSE GUYS.

I HATE THE NEW COOKIE CUTTER

SPORTS ANNOUNCERS.

I LOVE THEM OLD GEEZERS,

'CAUSE THEY GOT THE BEST PHRASES

FROM THE '30s AND '40s.

I'M WATCHING THIS FIGHT.

THIS ONE DUDE HITS THIS

OTHER DUDE, JUST LEVELS HIM.

THIS 90 YEAR-OLD GEEZER

ANNOUNCER GOES, "OH BROTHER,

HE KNOCKED HIM ONTO QUEER

STREET."

[LAUGHTER]

HOW COOL IS THAT?

YOU KNOW BACK IN THE '40s

THAT JUST MEANT YOU HIT A DUDE

REALLY HARD.

BUT THERE'S BEEN A SIGNIFICANT

CHANGE IN THE MEANING OF THE

WORD QUEER.

[LAUGHTER]

WHICH I BELIEVE IMPROVES THE

PHRASE IMMENSELY.

"HE KNOCKED HIM ONTO QUEER

STREET.

HE HIT HIM SO HARD HE DOESN'T

WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO WOMEN

ANYMORE.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S A HARD SHOT, MAN.

CHANGE YOUR SEXUALITY?

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

YOU'RE IN THE RING, "I THINK

IF I CAN JUST GET THROUGH

ANOTHER COUPLE OF ROUND MAYBE

I COULD-- PLLBTHH-- OW AH, AH...

[LISP] OH, THAT STUNG.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU SON OF A-- YOU KNOCKED ME

ONTO QUEER STREET.

NO STOP IT.

I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT.

STOP IT.

I'M FIGHTING ANYMORE.

THIS IS STUPID.

LOOK AT US IN THE STUPID SHORTS

WITH VERTICAL STRIPES.

WHAT IS THAT?

YOU'RE A DICK.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT.

THIS IS STUPID.

STOP IT.

I'M NOT FIGHTING.

[LAUGHTER]

I WANT TO FIGURE SKATE.

THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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