Al Madrigal - Little Brother

  • Season 9 , Ep 21
  • 06/30/2005
  • Views: 6,648

Al Madrigal volunteers for the Big Brothers and Big Sisters of San Francisco. (2:49)

I TRY TO GIVE TO THE COMMUNITY

THOUGH.

AND I DO.

I VOLUNTEER FOR THE

BIG BROTHERS AND BIG SISTERS AT

SAN FRANCISCO AND THE PENINSULA.

THANKS A LOT.

[APPLAUSE]

THE LITTLE KID IS REALLY CUTE.

HIS NAME IS HECTOR AND HE'S

10 YEARS OLD AND HE ACTUALLY

CALLS ME BIG BROTHER.

ISN'T THAT ADORABLE?

HE ALSO CALLS ME EVERY THURSDAY

AND I LIKE TO MESS WITH HIM

A LITTLE BIT.

HE CALLS ME UP, [THICK ACCENT]

"BIG BROTHER, ARE WE GOING TO DO

SOMETHING THIS WEEKEND?"

"I'M NOT SURE, MAN.

YOU GOT ANY PLANS?"

"WELL, I'M PRETTY MUCH 10 YEARS

OLD.

I REALLY DON'T HAVE TOO MUCH

STUFF GOING ON.

LET ME CHECK MY PALM PILOT."

[LAUGHTER]

SO I DON'T HAVE A PALM PILOT.

HE TRIES TO MANIPULATE ME.

AND HIS FAVORITE THING TO DO WAS

TWIST AROUND THINGS THAT I SAY

TO HEAR WHAT HE WANTS TO HEAR.

WE WERE IN THE CAR THE OTHER DAY

AND I SAID, "MAN, HECTOR,

IF YOU'RE GONNA SMOKE YOU WANNA

ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW PLEASE?"

[LAUGHTER]

"I'M SORRY, BIG BROTHER.

DID YOU SAY 'LET'S GO TO CHUCKY

CHEESE?'"

ALL RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

'CAUSE I'LL GO.

I HEARD THERE'S A BIG RAT NAMED

CHUCK SPINNING PIZZAS AND I'M

ALL OVER IT.

THEY GOT LIKE SKI BALL AND A

RAT BAND DISPROPORTIONATE TO

THEIR ACTUAL ANIMAL SIZES.

LET'S DO IT."

HE ALSO LIKES TO USE "WHEN YOU

WERE A KID" TO GET ME ALL THE

TIME.

"BIG BROTHER.

WHEN YOU WERE A KID, DID YOU

HAVE THIS THING CALLED

ICE CREAM?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I HEARD IT'S PRETTY GOOD.

THEY GOT LIKE THE BEN AND YERRY

MONKEY CHUNK OR SOMETHIN'

LIKE THAT.

AND I NEVER HAD OF A BEN AND

YERRY CHUNK OF THE MONKEY

BUT I'M PRETTY SURE I LIKE IT,

BIG BROTHER."

I GOT A MILLION OF THESE.

"BIG BROTHER.

WHEN YOU WERE A KID, DID YOU

HAVE THESE TOY CRAZES LIKE

POKEMAN?

YOU KNOW WHAT WE GOT IN

THE HOOD, BIG BROTHER?

KIKKOMAN THE SOY SAUCE PACKETS.

AND THE RICH KIDS THEY'RE LIKE

'HEY LOOK, I GOT PIKOCHEW.

IT'S JUST A LIGHTENING.'

'WELL, I GOT SOME SOY SAUCE,

BUDDY!'

AND I'D SQUIRT IT ALL OVER HIM

AND RUIN IT."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

LAST ONE.

"AND, BIG BROTHER.

[LAUGHTER]

WHEN YOU WERE A KID, DID YOU

HAVE THIS PLACE IN THE MALL

CALLED HOT-DOG-ON-A-STICK?

KNOW WHAT WE GOT IN THE FLEA

MARKET, BIG BROTHER?

A PLACE CALLED 'JUST-A-STICK.'

[LAUGHTER]

AND THEY'RE LIKE RUB IT ON A

HOT DOG IN THE BACK AND THEY

DON'T GOT THE HOT DOG ON A

STICK CHICK, CHEAP POP AND

LEMONADE, YOU KNOW.

LOOKING SO FINE WITH THEIR

WORKERS PERMIT AND THEIR

ATTITUDE.

AND I JUST WANT TO JUMP OVER

THE COUNTER AND HUMP HER.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT I DIGRESS, BIG BROTHER.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE?

THEY HAVE A CRACK WHORE WITH A

BROWN HAT.

AND THEY DON'T HAVE LEMONADE

EITHER BUT THEY GOT A PIECE OF

A LEMON.

THEY'RE LIKE, 'HERE, SUCK THIS

AND SMELL THE STICK AND GET THE

HELL OUTTA HERE.'"

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

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