YOU GUYS EVER HAVE SOMEBODY

CALL YOU BY THE WRONG NAME

REPEATEDLY?

AUDIENCE MEMBER>> ALWAYS!

TED>> AND FOR WHATEVER REASON,

YOU NEVER BOTHER TO CORRECT

THEM?

AFTER A WHILE YOU START TO KINDA

LIKE IT?

MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS KNEW ME

AS KEVIN FOR LIKE EIGHT YEARS.

I LOVED IT, UNTIL ONE DAY MY MOM

SLIPPED AND TOLD 'EM MY NAME WAS

TED.

I WAS SO ANNOYED, I SAID,

"MOM...

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?

YOU KNOW I'M KEVIN!

THEY NEEDED ME TO BE KEVIN AND I

WAS MORE THAN HAPPY."

IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING THE NEXT

TIME I SAW MY NEXT-DOOR

NEIGHBORS, THEY WERE LIKE--

"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL US?"

(LAUGHTER)

AND I WAS LIKE, "YOU LIKED ME AS

KEVIN.

YOU ACCEPTED ME AS KEVIN.

WHEN I WAS KEVIN THE WORLD WAS

ALIVE AND EVERYTHING WAS BRAND

NEW.

I'M JUST AFRAID TO LOSE ALL THAT

NOW."

THEY SAID, "LOOK, WE LIKE YOU AS

KEVIN, WE'LL LIKE YOU AS TODD."

(LAUGHTER)

I SUPPOSE YOU WILL.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

LOT OF DIFFERENT NAMES FOR

EACH OTHER, RIGHT?

I LIKE ALL THE DIFFERENT NAMES.

ASIAN AMERICAN.

LATINO AMERICAN.

AFRICAN AMERICAN.

CAUCASIAN AMERICAN.

I'VE NEVER BEEN TO CAUCASIA...

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHERE

THE HELL IT IS.

I WOULD LOVE TO VISIT THE

MOTHERLAND SOME DAY IF SOMEBODY

COULD POINT IT OUT ON A MAP.

HOW I LONG TO FROLIC AMONGST

MY PEOPLE AND DO THE DANCE OF

THE CAUCASIANS.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

(WHISTLES AND CHEERS)