I just knowthat for me,
for mypersonality type,
I could not deal withhaving to tell a guy
that I have herpes beforeI have sex with him,
because I alreadyhave so much crap
I have to tell a guybefore we can have sex,
that I cannotafford to add
another thingto that list.
Like, literally, beforeI have sex with a guy,
I have to sit down withhim and just be like,
Here is whatyou need to know.
"Um, number one: I am settingmy alarm for 7 a.m.
"That's whenI need you to leave.
"I don't haveto be anywhere.
"That's just when I needto start freaking out
"that this happened.
"Number two: I am Jewishso... if you're not--
"Whoa-- if you'renot familiar with
"what that is...
"essentially, I am a littlebit sad all of the time.
You guys are like, "You know,the Jews do seem sad.
"Did somethinghappen to them?
"Did something happen?
"It seems likesomething happened."
"Number three:I would appreciate it
"if while weare having sex,
"you could sort of gently pushthe hair away from my face,
"sort of, sort of morelike in a romantic movie
"and less likewe're on a futon.
"Number four:and this is the big one...
"Um, I cannothave sex
"with somebodyI do not love.
"So, number five:I love you!
"Number six: so much!
"Number seven:Now you say it.
"Number eight:you're not saying it.
"Number nine: You knowwhat-- Let's just do it.
"Forget it--you'll say it after."