Tom Shillue - Wedding Reception

  • Season 9 , Ep 13
  • 05/05/2005
  • Views: 2,965

SO WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH--

CURRENT EVENTS.

I JUST GOT MARRIED.

THAT'S COOL, RIGHT?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

VERY COOL.

THANK YOU.

THAT'S NICE.

IT'S SO FUNNY THE DIFFERENT

REACTIONS.

THE WOMEN IN THE AUDIENCE--

"OH MY GOD, THAT'S GREAT.

MY GOD, THAT'S SWEET.

THAT'S NICE.

THAT'S NICE."

THE GUYS' LIKE, "DUDE.

I DON'T KNOW.

THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL FOR A..."

[LAUGHTER]

YOU SINGLE GUYS YOU COULD

LEARN FROM ME 'CAUSE I JUST

WENT THROUGH THAT WHOLE PROCESS,

YOU KNOW?

SO IT'S VERY, IT'S VERY FRESH.

SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE LIKE.

GUYS, WHEN YOU'RE PLANNING A

WEDDING AND BY THAT I MEAN WHEN

SHE'S PLANNING A WEDDING...

[LAUGHTER]

SHE'S GONNA COME TO YOU WITH

QUESTIONS, WITH PROBLEMS.

AND YOU'RE GONNA GIVE HER

THE WRONG ANSWER.

[LAUGHTER]

'CAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING

YOU SAY DURING THAT ENGAGEMENT

PERIOD, WRONG.

[LAUGHTER]

SO I ACTUALLY WROTE DOWN SOME

THINGS.

THESE ARE THINGS NOT TO SAY...

[LAUGHTER]

TO SOME TYPICAL QUESTIONS THAT

SHE IS GONNA ASK YOU.

ALL RIGHT?

DON'T SAY THESE THINGS.

IF SHE SAYS, "WHICH CENTERPIECE

SHALL WE USE ON THE TABLES AT

OUR WEDDING RECEPTION?"

DON'T SAY, "I DON'T CARE."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

GUYS, THAT'S GONNA SEEM LIKE

THE RIGHT ANSWER...

[LAUGHTER]

BECAUSE YOU DON'T CARE.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

AND IN YOUR MIND THE WAY GUYS

THINK WE GOT THE MATH ALL

WORKED OUT, RIGHT?

IT'S LIKE, "I DON'T CARE,"

EQUALS "WHATEVER YOU WANT,

HONEY.

I LOVE YOU."

IT'S ALL IN THERE, RIGHT GUYS?

BUT WOMEN ARE CRAZY.

THINGS GO IN HERE THEY GET ALL

SCRAMBLED UP.

TO WOMEN, "I DON'T CARE,"

ACTUALLY EQUALS "I DON'T CARE".

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT SOUNDS CONVOLUTED BUT THAT'S

THE WAY IT WORKS IN THERE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

SEE WHAT ELSE HERE.

IF SHE SAYS, "WHICH SONG SHALL

WE DANCE TO FOR OUR FIRST

DANCE?"

THAT'S SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO DO

A FIRST DANCE.

BUT IT'S NOT THE FIRST 'CAUSE

SHE MADE YOU PRACTICE FOR LIKE

EIGHT MONTHS.

[LAUGHTER]

SHE SAYS, "WHICH SONG SHALL

WE DANCE TO?"

DON'T SAY, "HMMM, HOW ABOUT

'CALIFORNIA GIRLS.'"

[LAUGHTER]

THAT SONG MAY RESONATE WITH

YOU GUYS BUT IT'S NOT

APPROPRIATE.

IF SHE SAYS, "WHICH FONT?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SHE WILL.

IF SHE SAYS, "WHICH FONT SHALL

WE USE ON OUR INVITATIONS?"

DON'T SAY, "NOT NOW, IT'S

ALCATRAZ WEEK ON THE DISCOVERY

CHANNEL.

[LAUGHTER]

'CAUSE SHE WILL KICK YOUR ASS.

WOMEN DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

WE LIKE THAT WE LIKE THAT

ALCATRAZ WEEK, RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

GUYS LOVE ALCATRAZ WEEK.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

ONE GIRL WAS ASKING LIKE,

"WHAT'S IN YOUR HEAD?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WHAT'S GOING ON IN THAT MIND

OF YOURS?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

WHAT'S IN THERE?

WHAT'S UPSTAIRS?"

YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE THINKING?

"ALCATRAZ."

THAT'S IT.

THAT'S ALL THAT'S THERE.

YOU'RE GONNA GET TWO TV'S

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