Jake Johannsen - Space Travelers

  • Season 7 , Ep 9
  • 04/03/2003
  • Views: 2,090

Aliens are smarter than us and they know it. (1:42)

Jake Johannsen: THANK YOU.

I FEEL PRETTY GOOD.

YOU KNOW THAT WE DON'T HAVE MUCH

TIME NOW, AFTER ALL THAT

APPLAUSE.

(LAUGHTER)

SO, LET ME JUST GET RIGHT

TO THE POINT OF IT.

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I'VE BEEN

WORRIED ABOUT.

WE, AS A PLANET, EARTH, ANYBODY?

(LAUGHTER)

HERE'S THE THING.

WE HAVE BEEN SENDING MESSAGES

INTO OUTER SPACE TO

EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS.

WE'RE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE

WITH ALIENS, AND BASICALLY OUR

MESSAGE IS "HEY, HERE WE ARE,

COME ON DOWN."

YEAH.

I THINK THAT'S A BAD IDEA.

(LAUGHTER)

AND I HAVE SOME PEOPLE WHO AGREE

WITH ME.

BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

WE ARE HERE, AND WE CAN'T GO--

IF THEY CAN COME HERE,

THEY'RE SMARTER THAN US.

WE CAN'T GO--

THEY'RE INTERGALACTIC SPACE

TRAVELERS, YOU KNOW?

WHY WOULD THEY EVEN WANT TO COME

HERE?

IT'D BE LIKE IF YOU GOT A NOTE

FROM YOUR DOG.

(LAUGHTER)

"MEET ME IN THE YARD."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERING)

YOU WOULD HAVE TO WONDER WHAT

THIS IS ABOUT, YOU KNOW?

SO, IF THEY CAN COME HERE,

THEY'RE SMARTER THAN US AND THEN

THEY KNOW THEY'RE SMARTER THAN

US, TOO, BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN

BEAMING COPS INTO OUTER SPACE.

SO, THEY KNOW THEY'RE SMARTER.

THEY'RE PROBABLY GONNA CALL US

AS A JOKE, AND SAY, "HEY, HERE'S

WHERE WE ARE, WHY DON'T YOU

COME ON UP?"

YOU KNOW?

WHAT ARE WE GONNA SAY BACK

TO THAT, YOU KNOW?

"HOW ABOUT WE MEET YOU

ON THE MOON?"

RIGHT.

IT'S NOT THAT IMPRESSIVE,

THE MOON.

AND ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU CONSIDER

WE CAN ONLY SEND THREE GUYS.

AND ONE OF THEM HAS TO WAIT

IN THE CAR.

(LAUGHTER)

SO YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN

WORRIED ABOUT.

ACTUALLY, I HAVE A LOT OF IDEAS

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