Dana Gould - Purgatory

Dana Gould Season 1, Ep 5 08/25/1997 Views: 1,373

Death is gonna suck. (2:57)

to misunderstand me.

I'm not a pessimistic person.

I'm actually quite optimistic.

I bet death is gonna suck.

>> ♪ Oh, yeah, honey, baby.

♪ Oh, yeah, darlin' mama.

♪ Oh, yeah, honey, baby.

♪ Yeah, honey, baby.

♪ Yeah, yeah.

[horn honking]


[loud crash]

[metal clanking]

>> Hi. [chuckles]

Boy, oh, boy, do you drive fast.

Give me this.

Come on in.

How many times did they have

to tell you, keep your hands

on the wheel at 10:00 and 2:00?

10:00 and 2:00.

Eyes front.

[diabolical laughter]

[maniacal laughter]

>> Where am I?

>> Oh, you died, buddy.

Traffic accident.

Big truck hit car, go boom.

>> Wait; you're Death?

Is--is this Heaven?

>> Oh. Uh-uh.

>> You mean I'm--

>> No, no, no.

Do I look like him?

>> Well, then, where am I?

>> You are in Purgatory.


Not bad enough for Hell,

but Heaven doesn't want you yet?

>> Why not?

>> Remember all that stuff

you did in the bathroom

when you were 12?

>> Everybody does that.

>> Wearing your grandmother's

bra? Buddy.

>> All right, all right.

What's my punishment?

What? Do I burn

in a lake of fire?

>> No.

>> Am I eaten by rats?

>> No.

>> You don't scare me, Death.

Do your worst.

>> Do you want to know

what your punishment is?

>> Yeah.

>> Do you?

Do you want to know

what your punishment is?

Well, let's spin

the big punishment wheel.

[organ music]

Your punishment is...

[wheel clacking]

[bell rings]

the rodeo.

>> What?

>> What do you think

Purgatory is, pal?

You know all those crappy jobs

on Earth?

That's people trying to work

their way into Heaven:

meter maids, tollbooth workers,

rodeo clown.

>> I just thought it would be

a little more bizarre.

>> Look, I do have a strip joint

full of horny ventriloquist

dummies, but you really don't

want to go there.

You're gonna be a rodeo clown.


[lively country music]


[loud footsteps]


>> Ah, it was your first day.

You did good.

Just try to stay away

from the bull next time.