Hannibal Buress - Facebook Messaging

Hannibal Buress: Animal Furnace Season 1, Ep 101 05/20/2012 Views: 14,581

While searching for Facebook friends in Michigan, Hannibal Buress sends some messages that make him look like a regretful pedophile. (1:27)

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I GO TO FACEBOOK

AND SEARCH WHAT FACEBOOK FRIENDSI HAVE IN THAT CITY

AND I'LL HIT THEM UP.

AND SO I WAS IN ANN ARBOR,MICHIGAN,

AND I SAW THIS GIRL'S PICTURE,AND I SAID,

"HEY, WHAT'S UP?I'M IN TOWN DOING SHOWS.

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?"

AND THEN I PRESS "SEND,"AND I READ IN HER PROFILE,

AND IT SAID, "BRANDY ATTENDSANN ARBOR HIGH SCHOOL."

I SAID, "OH, SHIT."

[laughter]

SO I SENT A SECOND MESSAGETHAT SAID,

"UH-OH. HA-HA.NEVER MIND."

BUT THE WAYFACEBOOK MESSAGING WORKS,

IF YOU SEND A MESSAGE,THEN SECOND MESSAGE

BEFORE THEY REPLYTO THE FIRST MESSAGE,

IT COMBINES THOSE INTOONE MESSAGE.

SO IT LOOKS LIKE I SAID,"HEY, WHAT'S UP?

"I'M IN TOWN DOING SHOWS.WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

UH-OH, HA-HA, NEVER MIND."

LIKE I'M SOME TYPE OF REGRETFULPEDOPHILE OR SOMETHING.

BUT I COULDN'T JUSTNOT SEND THE MESSAGE.

SO I HAD TO SEND HERA THIRD MESSAGE.

I COULDN'T LEAVE IT LIKE THAT.

SAID, "BRANDY, FACEBOOKMESSAGING COMBINES THE MESSAGES.

"I SENT A MESSAGE SAYING'WHAT'S UP?'

"THEN I SAW THAT YOU WERE 16.

"I SENT ANOTHER MESSAGE SAYING,'NEVER MIND.'

"IT COMBINED THOSEINTO ONE MESSAGE,

"MAKING ME LOOK LIKEA REGRETFUL PEDOPHILE.

"THIS IS THE THIRD MESSAGE.IT ENDS RIGHT HERE.

GOOD-BYE FOREVER, OR...GOOD-BYE FOR TWO YEARS."

SCOUTING.

[laughter and applause]