Uncensored - Tracy Morgan - Doomsday Prepper

Tracy Morgan: Bona Fide Season 1, Ep 101 04/20/2014 Views: 5,979

Tracy Morgan reveals his plan for facing the apocalypse and admires Paula Deen's cooking. (2:17)

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Y'ALL BETTER LOOK AT THE WORLD.

THE WORLD IS A GHETTO.

WHITE PEOPLE KNOW HOW WE FEEL.

NOW Y'ALL WANTTO OCCUPY WALL STREET.

BLACK PEOPLE OCCUPY ALL STREETS.

KNOW THESE THINGS, MAN!

IT'S SCARY WHEN WHITE PEOPLECAN'T EVEN SAVE THEIRSELF NOW.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU.I'M A DOOMSDAY PREPPER.

I WENT TO COSTCO'S. I GOT LIKE8,000 ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER.

GETTING DARK.I SEE THE END COMING.

WHITE PE--WHITE DUDE, YOU EVER ATE SPAM?

NO? YOU BETTER GET USED IT.

SAVE THAT SPAM KEY.THAT SPAM KEY IS UNIVERSAL.

DOOMSDAY COME, YOU UPSHIT'S CREEK WITHOUT A SPAM KEY.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

WE'RE READY. I KNOW I AM.

I AIN'T GOING IN THE MOUNTAINSWHEN DOOMSDAY COME.

I'M GOING TO THE TOPOF THE PROJECTS.

Y'ALL ASLEEP. THEM PARACHUTESSTART COMING OUT OF THE SKY.

I'M GONNA BE READY. I'M GONNABE RIGHT ON THE 14th FLOOR.

THINGS ARE GETTING DARK.PAULA DEEN.

[ AUDIENCE GROANS ]

WAIT A MINUTE.

Y'ALL WAY TOO HARDON OL' GIRL, MAN.

SHE'S A 65-YEAR-OLD WHITE WOMANFROM THE SOUTH.

I WOULDN'T TRUST HER ASSIF SHE DIDN'T SAY "NIGGER."

[ LAUGHTER ]

YO!

SHE WAS 18 YEARS OLD WHEN THECIVIL RIGHTS ACT WAS PASSED.

THAT'S 18 YEARSOF SAYING "NIGGER" FOR FREE.

WHITE PEOPLE, YOU JUSTDON'T WAKE UP ONE MORNING

AND BE LIKE,"I'M 'NIGGER'-FREE NOW."

NO. YOU GOT TO WEAN YOURSELFOFF OF THAT WORD.

START WITH LIKE 10 "NIGGERS"A DAY, THEN WORK YOUR WAY DOWN.

GET A 'NIGGER'-FREE PATCH.

ALL OF THAT.

SUBSTITUTE THE WORD "DARKIE"SOMETIME.

I'M SERIOUS.

THE WAY SHE COOKS, SHE COULDCALL ME NIGGER ANY DAY.

"LOOK HERE, NIGGER.

I GOT SOME CORNBREAD, HAM HOCKS,

AND COLLARD GREENSFOR YOUR ASS, NIGGER."

I BE LIKE, "THANK YOU, BABY.THANK YOU, BABY."