Uncensored - Kevin Hart - Almost Lost You Today

08/17/11 Views: 263,647

Kevin Hart's father refused to believe that Kevin couldn't swim, which eventually led to a very uncomfortable car ride. (1:47)

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MY DAD ALMOST KILLEDME ONE TIME.

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,I COULDN'T SWIM.

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW.

MY DAD DIDN'T BELIEVE ME.

THIS NIGGA ARGUED ME DOWN.

WE HAD A POOL.

I'M SITTING ON THE SIDEOF THE POOL.

I GOT MY FEET IN THE WATER.

"MM-MM-MM, MM-MM-MM."

I'M PLAYING, HAVING A GOOD TIME.

MY DAD SAID, "BOY, YOU BETTERSTOP PLAYING.

GET IN THAT WATER AND SWIM."

I SAID, "DAD, I CAN'T.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM."

HE SAID, "YOU KNOW HOWTO FUCKIN' SWIM.

GET IN THAT GODDAMN WATERAND SWIM."

I SAID, "NO, DAD, I'M SERIOUS.

NOBODY EVER TAUGHT MEHOW TO SWIM."

MY DAD PICKED ME UP,GRABBED ME, THREW ME

IN SEVEN FEET.

AS SOON AS I HIT THE WATER,I STARTED TO DIE IMMEDIATELY.

"HOO!

HOOO!

WHOOOO!"THIS IS WHY MY DAD'S AN ASSHOLE.

THIS IS WHAT MY DAD SAID.

"HEY!

YOU BETTER NOT FUCKIN' DROWN."

I SAID, "WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP IT.

I DON'T"--WHEN I TELL YOU THAT WAS THE

MOST UNCOMFORTABLE RIDE HOMEI'VE EVER HAD WITH MY DAD

IN MY LIFE, KEEP IN MIND,I ALMOST DIED.

WHENEVER YOU COME CLOSETO DEATH, YOU BECOME

TRAUMATIZED.

HARD TO GET THAT SHITOUT YOUR HEAD.

I KEPT HAVING FLASHBACKS.

WE IN THE CAR.

WE DRIVING HOME.

I'M LOOKING OUTTHE PASSENGER WINDOW.

I KEPT REPLAYING THAT SHITOVER AND OVER AGAIN.

I WAS LIKE, "NO...

NOO!

NO, DON'T LET ME GO, DAD.

DON'T LET ME GO."

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,I WOULD LOOK AT HIM.

"WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?

I TOLD YOU I COULDN'T--I DON'T KNOW WHY."

DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH RIGHT NOW.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MY DADSAID TO ME.

THIS IS HOW MY DAD TRIED TO MAKEME FEEL BETTER.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID.

LOOK.

DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID.

HE WAS DRIVING, RIGHT?

HE SAID...

HE SAID...

[laughter]"I ALMOST LOST YOU TODAY,

DIDN'T I?"WHAT?

THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN, MAN?

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